Ramblings of a Tired Man...

I am tired, but I cannot sleep. It has been a long time now since I've really been rested. And so my thoughts ramble around my head screaming to be let out, to be put down, with no rhyme or reason...

I've observed that people often get upset over "interuptions" in their day, in their life, often blaming the interuptions for their unproductiveness. Here's the deal: Those interuptions are "life" and dealing with them is your life. If you aren't productive it isn't the interuptions' fault, it's yours, for it is an extremely rare person that doesn't have the time to deal with life. Usually it's our own poor time-management, or more bluntly, a lack of discipline on our parts to "plan our work and work our plan" (thanks HB)...

I think people who have casual sex have a very low value of intimacy. I am bothered when I hear single friends talking about their "exploits" like it is some great thing. I am deeply bothered personally at the thought of sharing something so beautiful, so intimate so casually. For that reason I don't believe in sex, but strongly believe in making love with someone I know, and care deeply for, and love- and know (or at least believe) that they love me in return. Now sadly, I'm older and wiser, and can see the bitter truth that some of those few I have loved really didn't love me at all. Sadly, the memory of making love with someone who I thought loved me but now I believe different makes me feel cheap, and used... And yet, do I learn from my past? I hope so...

I think too many people confuse kindness with weakness. Bad mistake, especially if that kind person is like me... That kind of mistake can come back to bite you. (Keep running Ron).

I helped a friend move today (not just me, but my company and my partner)... She was one of my longest-standing customers and toward the end she sat down on a box and told me in her entire life no one had ever helped her out like this- she didn't know what to say except "thank-you". And that was all she needed to say, but she went on to ask why I was so generous with my self, my time, where did this love of life, of people come from? I was able to share my credo with her- "I Love God and love people". Further, I told her that I desired to live with the constant awareness that, if Jesus Christ were standing right next to me, what would he do in any given situation, and that is what I expect my action to be. It doesn't always work out that way, for sometimes I think I have a selective memory, but I try, I really try, and when I do that which I believe He would do, man does it feel great!

My daughter wrote "Love is the author of both heartbreak and joy"... Boy, there's not much truer than that, especially if it's unrequited love... To be in the prescence of one you love is pure joy; not to be loved in return is pure heartbreak... I think love was meant to be game-free to work right...

Let's try the sleep thing again...