2012- A New Year... Resolutions?

The worst time of the year for me, it seems, is around the end of the year, especially from the middle of December forward. It seems like some of the really bad, or really painful memories in my life stemmed from past Decembers. I lost a child in December, the beginnig of the end of my marriage- December, and for the last twenty seven years I've had the busiest time of my business year the last week or two of the year. Stir in all the holiday hoopla from Thanksgiving through the New Year and it's a really hectic time of life for me. And one thing I've learned- the busier the times the less likely you'll find anyone who cares if you're hurting. Not that they're not caring, rather they're not as sensitive when busy. People tend to get wrapped up in their lives, their hassles, and seldom remember past hurts of others... Not a condemnation on people, but merely an observation. I probably am more guilty of this than any other...

I'm not big on resolutions, for seldom do they seem to stick, at least for me. But this year I think I will try to be more cognizant, more aware of a couple of thoughts. First, I want to try to avoid bringing up past mistakes in relationships, especially with those who are closest to me. Siblings, kids, parents, significant others, these all know us well, and we them, and I can't help but think it will be happier to forgive and move on, or it could negatively impact my present happiness. In other words, make peace with the past so it won't spoil the present.

Second, I want to remember that it is not my job that will take care of me when sick, or down, or lonely. It is not my job who will be there for me in my times of need- but family and friends can and will, so I resolve to try harder to stay in touch, to make myself more available to them, to try and be a helpmate in their times of need too. Life isn't a destination; life is all in the journey. I want to daily remember that, for to keep my eyes glued to the goal blinds me to life that's happening all around me.

I just want to be a better person- that's my resolution... Food for thought...