The gift in Giving...

So I find myself much more emotional lately, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I seem to be inexplicably affected by random acts of kindness, whether I'm active in the act or just a casual observer... I've always loved to give, often being criticized for being "too generous", but lately it's different. It's like I've experienced a whole new level of joy, and one I can experience either actively or inactively, although the joy is far more intense when I'm involved...

I've also noticed another interesting phenomena; it seems that when helping someone who truly needs the reaction is far different from someone who merely wants. Those who truly need tend to be far more grateful, but beyond that, they don't want to be thought of as "taking advantage" [of my generousity]... Those with wants tend to be more selfish and far less humble... I'm sure I wasn't always aware of these differences, but I'm glad I now am, for having the discretion to tell the difference allows more freedom to aid those with real needs. And experience that far deeper level of joy...

Truly, it is better to give than to receive, for in giving one receives joy- personally satisfying, deeply humbling joy. I think, perhaps being selfless is not far from being selfish, for that joy that flows deeply from my gut is intoxicating, it's addicting, and I want more... The saying is, "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime." I think that could be applied to giving. Give a man a hand and help him for a time; teach a man to give and help many people many times...

I'm getting older now, and I feel that those things I felt necessary to keep me in this world have been fulfilled. My children are grown, they're on their own, with mates, and even a couple of kids- grandkids for me- and they don't really need me anymore. I've shared with friends that I feel I've run my race, and am content, and my Father can call me home anytime, for I have no fear of death. But while I remain I will continue to labor as He wills, until that day. Meanwhile, Before I go I wish that somehow I could share the joy I receive from giving with those who've never experienced it. It would rock their world, forever... Food for thought...