OCD, or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, is a psychiatric anxiety disorder, often disabling, that traps a person in a pattern of repetitive thought and behavior that are usually senseless and distressing. The obsessions are unwanted ideas or impulses that repeatedly attack the mind of the afflicted person. In response to their obsessions they resort to repetitive behavior patterns called compulsions. And that is the disease. So, is a person who lives neater than others or has developed a life system OCD? Of course not.
I use myself as an example because I fear too often we label people, and far more often than not incorrectly, and I certainly don't want to do so to another. It is common to find those afflicted with OCD to also fight depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, attention deficit disorder, or other disorders brought on by the affliction. I spoke with a counselor friend when deciding to blog this and asked him for his diagnosis of me as an OCD. He laughed and said I was "particular"- I liked things in their place, but was far from OCD. I am far from depressed, nor do I suffer from other anxiety disorders often accompanying OCD. So why am I labeled OCD?
What of the person labeled Bi-Polar, or the child labeled ADHD? Do we find it easier to slap a label on someone rather than try to understand them? Is a child ADHD, or has he just been allowed by his parent to appear so because of their lack of understanding of a child's basic psyche? Is it the child or the parent at fault if the child has little or no attention span? It is estimated that 8-10% of all children in the United States fit the criteria for ADHD. Children need fences. They need boundaries for their own personal security. This is a fact when we understand children. So what happens to a child who acts out, who pushes against his perceived boundary, and a parent fails to react appropriately? Their boundary shifts, and they lose some personal security. When it happens often enough a child learns acting out is accepted and episodes get worse. And we slap a label on him like ADHD and medicate him.
But what if, when a boundary is tested, a parent reacts appropriately and punishes the child for inappropriate behavior? The child learns a boundary, and stops the continual push against it once it is established. Further, he has security in the knowledge of what he can and cannot do. As a child establishes his boundaries he becomes more stable, self-assured, and functions at a much higher level in society.
When I speak of a parent punishing a child I am not necessarily advocating corporal punishment. I've raised three children and when young a swat on the behind might have been appropriate, but I can't honestly remember spanking any of my children past the age of 3 or 4. Rewarding proper behavior was as effective as punishing bad behavior. When trying to obtain a specific behavior it was far more effective to offer the reward up front and allow the child to "earn" it or lose it on their own. An example: when my kids started getting older and wanted an allowance I set up a chart of "jobs" to do around the house. The more they did the more they could earn. My oldest son quickly learned the value of pitching in and helping and often earn five times and more than his siblings. My second son didn't think it was fair that his brother got so much more money, but in time learned that his effort was rewarded and lack of effort was not. One of my boys had a friend diagnosed as ADHD and once he became comfortable in my home never displayed signs of hyperactivity, impulsivity, or inattention that characterize the ADHD child, because he learned what was acceptable and what wasn't at our house. Boundaries. Children crave them. They may not like the results of violating them in the moment, but they love the long-term security they get knowing they're there. What is the most effective treatment for ADHD? Behavioral Therapy, or, in layman's terms, teaching boundaries...
I think we do a great disservice to many people by labeling them too quickly, or without all relevant information. I think sometimes we label others for our own comfort, to cover our own lack of understanding... Food for thought...
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