Spam Responses...

I've decided to answer some of this repeating spam mail that I get via my blog...

Dear Cheap Auto Insurance,
Thank you for your concern over the possibility of my over-paying for my auto insurance. Your concern is touching. I know I don't pay the absolute cheapest for my insurance, but I like the service of both my provider and my agent. I think I'm going to stay put. Regards.

Dear Credit Score Time;
I do agree that 550 is a low credit score, and I appreciate your concern that mine might have changed. Rest assured, I do pay attention to my credit score and it hasn't drop below 800 in years. And an FYI, that's a GREAT credit score. Feel free to focus your attentions on someone who needs it.

Dear Amy,
Thank you for sending me a link to your "pics". I think I'd better pass though, for my girlfriend might be upset if I were to peruse them. And for the record, I have no clue who you are or why you would want to degrade yourself by sending your pics to a stranger. Would you like me to send you some links that offer help for people with moral issues and no self esteem? Let me know...

Dear Ms. Carman L. LaPointe,
I am so sorry to hear about your devestating terminal desease. I'm touched that you would trust me with distributing your wealth while allowing me such a generous percentage. However, I'm not sure my banker is quite so trusting and recommends that you just add me to your banking accounts and send me your personal information so that I can access your accounts and distribute your wealth per your desires. I await your personal information...

Dear Blue Sky Auto Loans,
Thanks for the offer of a car loan for less than 3% despite the possibility of me having bad credit. Good news for you- my credit is excellent. Bad news for you- I don't need a car loan from you because my credit is excellent. Perhaps if my credit goes in the toilet I'll give you a shout...

Dear Match.com, Christian Singles, and SpeedDate Singles,
I really appreciate your interest in me as a single guy in my area. Although your interest is very flattering if I were to take you up on your offer it could create a real problem for my relationship with the wonderful woman I am currently seeing. Perhaps if I screw up my life again and lose this one I'll need your services, but for now I have to take a pass...

Dear Bed Bugs,
Thanks for your infestation warning. Here's a suggestion- clean your homes better! Mine is fine.

Dear Natasha,
I'm glad you got your Russian Brides webcam up and going, and are willing to share it with me, but I am not interested in a Russian Bride. Quite honestly, I remember those pictures of Russian women from the 50's Olympics and am frankly scared to death of Russian women. Go 'Roids!

Thanks to all who didn't get a mention, though you continue to fill my spam folder with your ceaseless offers... Perhaps one day I will have a brain fart and actually click on your link, and then, who knows?
Food for thought...