Learn to be successful in your relationships.
At the end of your life "things" won't matter one iota. New cars, a fancy house, boats, motorcycles, any kind of "toys" we tend to want to collect won't comfort you or keep you warm. Personal relationships will be the source of your comfort- whether it be your spouse, children, siblings, or friends and relatives. Memories will be a source of comfort- memories of good times with others, not things. And the most important aspect of developing successful relationships is learning the art of compromise.
Within the context of a relationship we often find that our idea of doing something varies from our counterpart in the relationship. Ideally the we should talk it out and reach a compromise that both sides find palatable, and move forward accordingly. Yet if one insists on doing it his way, and makes a compelling argument for his desire to do it his way, he isn't wrong- nor is his friend- for they each have their own perspectives, and differing perspectives doesn't make one right and one wrong. It just means there are different ways to accomplish the same goal.
Now, if a compromise isn't reached, then one side will have to give in or the relationship reaches a loggerhead. So what happens to the side that gives in? Even if they "bury" it, there's resentment. One party will have a good measure of the joy they should experience together tarnished by the fact that they "caved" in to the other's will- usually under the pretext of trying to keep the peace, yet in the end they are left with deep seated resentment. Going forward that will create a wall, or a stumbling point in the relationship because they won't want to cave again- even though they may never say a word. It creates an animosity, and creates distance between the two.But what happens if a compromise is reached? Neither side may get 100% of what they wanted, but both sides get something, and that allows both to feel that they're important, that their desires have merit and consideration within the relationship. Even if one side only gets 10%, or 20% of what they wanted they will still appreciate the gesture and the compromise. Now in this example I've been using one side clearly gets more, but both sides come out winners. It's all about being willing to compromise...
On a personal note, I've had to learn this lesson, and it pains me to admit it took far longer than I wish, for I am very much like that one who can make the compelling argument, who could convince others to do it "my way", You see, often times my intelligence derailed my relational success. So what if I do something less efficiently, if it means making someone I care about happy? Do I need to be right, or do I need to be considerate? Most of the time it is impossible to be both. I've learned it's far better to be considerate. I hope it is a lesson my kids and grandkids learn much quicker than I did. Perhaps they won't be as relationally challenged as their Papa...Food for thought...
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