What is Love really? How do we define love? Is it even definitve? Can we put a relationship "to test" to see if it exemplifies "love"? There are three types of love that I see in our our society. First there's the "I love you if..." style where love is conditional on specific action happening. "If you do (whatever) then I love you." Then there's the "I love you because..." style, again conditional on action, but usually already done. "Because you did (whatever) I love you". Last, there's the "I love you in spite of..." style, the unconditional love that says no matter what you do I will love you. This is that "agape" love that Jesus Christ exemplified and taught. So, how can we determine if this is the type of love we practice, or do we "conditionalize" our love? Put your love to this test:
1. Do you find yourself getting impatient with your partner?
2. When you argue do you bring up your partner's past faults or failings? Do you argue "the past"?
3. Are you selfish, or do you put your partner before you?
4. Do you get angry easily at your partner?
5. Are you envious?
6. Do you remain gracious, even in a dispute, or do you get rude?
7. Do you "remind" your partner how good you are?
8. Are you kind to your partner?
9. Do you protect your partner whenever possible?
10. Do you trust your partner?
11. Is the truth important to your relationship, or is honesty not a big issue?
12. Will your relationship perservere through trials?
We find perhaps the best definition of love in I Corinthians 13, verses 4-7. It says: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres." If we can examine ourselves, and our relationship, and model this definition of love how incredible our relationship would be.
Unfortunately, too many relationships sadly fail because the "love" is self-seeking, and selfish. In our "instant gratification" society, our "fast food" lifestyle, we've come to expect instant chemistry, instant "love", and aren't willing to invest the time and effort to grow something solid, something special. Infatuation is instant, and just as quickly the bloom can fade, but love, true love takes time, and withstands the tests of time. Time and commitment. The exact opposite of what society demands... No wonder divorce is such an attractive option today...
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