Love

"There's a fine line between love and hate". I've heard that all my life from many, many different sources, but never really processed the validity of that statement until the past several years... I believe the line is so fine because both emotions are so highly charged; when one is deeply in love and then has that love violated, the resulting hurt is directly proportional to the depth and passion of that love. The deeper the love the more likely the hurt will cause the violated one to despise or hate the violator. But what does that do to the violated one?
To have your love violated, or compromised, causes complications in many areas of life. The biggest complication is the destruction of trust. Any future relationship is compromised to the extent that one cannot, or does not trust their partner, even if the partner has done nothing to disallow that trust. This can cause anger, frustration, withdrawal, breakdown in communication, and other resentments from the unoffending party. If they don't understand the depth of the wound their response will most likely be defensive or inappropriate to the wound causing even greater stress between them and their partner. The violated one withdraws, or protects their heart against future hurt.
Our ability to fully love is directly proportional to our willingness or ability to allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable to the possibilty to being hurt again. If we protect our heart, if we build emotional walls of protection around it to keep hurt out we are effectively keeping out our ability to receive and give love also. To fully love one must be fully vulnerable; one must trust that their partner has their best interests at heart, that they are willing and able to protect your heart if you lay it out there. This is the paradox of love, for to love is to trust, and to trust is to put oneself back into the very position that previously hurt so badly, that left life devestated...
It is said that "it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all". I have found credence in this, for I have loved, and lost several times in my life. Personally speaking, I have had my love, my trust, violated several times over. It is the most painful, the most difficult of all emotional states to deal with. The feelings of abandonment, of betrayal, the anger and bitterness, even unwarranted jealousies, all are detrimental to building a good and healthy future relationship with anyone. Do not despair though, for God is faithful, and he desires us to experience that agape love in relationship, to have someone love us "in spite of" ourselves, our faults, our warts. To find that person who is willing to work with you, to patiently help rebuild the shattered trust, to love you despite the baggage, the issues, is a blessing from God. "Delight yourself in him and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Ps. 37:4). I have delighted myself in Him and he has given me the desire of my heart, the companionship, the love, and I can't help but think that this is what God desires from us in our relationship with Him... He wants us to desire Him, to give ourselves fully and completely to Him, to love and long for Him every minute of every day. He longs for our fellowship, our communion.

Father, let my heart long for you, let my soul thirst for your fellowship. Fill me with desire to delight myself in You, and find pleasure in my worship. You are my Father in the Heavens, and I praise your name. As I love my children so You love me, only perfectly, beyond my finite comprehension. I love you Father. Amen