Another year...

Well, another year is coming to a close, another birthday just around the corner. Last year I posted 20 or so questions (21 to be exact) that have plagued my mind, and to be quite honest, no one thought enough to answer these for me, so here I sit, almost another year older and not really much wiser... I try to learn, to keep my mind active, but still I come up short... I won't repeat those same questions that bother me; if you're interested they're in last April's blogs, but here are a couple of new ones...

What's another word for synonym?
If signmakers go on strike is there anything printed on their signs?
If you buy a box of cotton balls are you supposed to throw the top one away?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?
Why can't women put masscara on with their mouth closed?
Why don't psychics ever win the lottery?
Why is "abreviated" such a long word?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, but dish-washing soap made with real lemons?

I have learned a few things, to be fair to myself, so the year hasn't been totally wasted. I've learned:

Grocery clerks ask if I want paper or plastic because baggers can't be choosers.
"Instant credit" really means "instant debt".
Even if you're nobody's fool someone still might adopt you.
For every person with a spark of genius there's hundreds experiencing ignition trouble.
To properly tickle a rich girl you have to say, "Gucci, Gucci, Gucci".
Under no circumstances should I ever take a sleeping pill and laxative in the same night.
Going to church doesn't make someone a Christian any more than standing in the garage makes them a car.
Artificial intellegence is no match for natural stupidity.
Someone who is nice to me but rude to a waiter is not a nice person.
There is no evidence to support the notion that life is serious.
An amateur built the Ark. A team of professionals built the Titanic. Think about it.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
Eat well, exercise, stay fit. You'll die anyway.
And last: Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

Another year comes to a close in a couple of weeks. Boy, I hope next year the questions get easier...