Assumptions...

Have you ever looked up the definition of assume, or assuption? I did, and Webster sure did a good job of making his definition murky clear... But we all know what it is to assume, or make assumptions, for we all do it. I believe the most concise definition, for our purposes, (for there are multiple meanings of the word), is to conclude or accept something as true without first ascertaining the relevant facts (not a definition you'll find in Webster's, but then he's not perfect either, or so I assume...). Years ago I watched an episode of "The Odd Couple" (with Tony Randall and Jack Klugman), and Tony Randall gave the cutest reprimand to Klugman. He said, "Do you know what happens when you ASSUME? You make an ASS of U and ME." It probably wasn't original with him, but it stuck with me through all these years, so I thank him for it.
So the question is, why do we assume, why do we jump to conclusions that have no basis in fact what-so-ever? Why do our conclusions most often assume the worst? Why are we willing to assume something bad before assuming something good? I believe it all reverts back to ourselves- we know we aren't perfect, and we make mistakes, and we fail, so naturally you fail too. If I might screw up then certainly you will. We might not do this on a conscious level, but we all do it on a subconscious one. It takes intentional thought not to assume the worst, and natural thought to assume the worst. We are not intentional thinkers by nature, and few are by discipline or training. Therefore, we negatively impact our relationships in which we assume.
What would happen, if instead of assuming, we choose to ask, "Where were you? What did you mean? Why didn't you call? Who was that?" and the many more questions that would give relevant facts to a situation instead of assuming (the worst). Knowing is freedom, and often asking is the only real way to know. Yet we fear to hear the truth that we so desperately want, so we choose to believe the assumption which has no grounding in truth. Yet asking before assuming, before forming our opinion, is the first proactive step in intentional thinking. Asking, and knowing first allows for open dialogue, for we are not forced to overcome a negative perception, to "argue" our defense when we've done no wrong in reality, only in the flawed world of the assumption...
Relationships will happen, but successful relationships are intentional. We must choose to act in a manner counter to our natural instincts, to put the relationship ahead of our own selves... Food for thought...