Never too old for Firsts...

Well, vacation is over, and it was a wonderfully relaxing time, right up until we were rear-ended on the expressway, during rush hour traffic, in a construction zone, on the south side of Chicago on the drive home. Welcome back to the real world, Bud!

But now that we're home life continues on, and life's experiences continue... Last night I was visiting my new friend and something happened that had not happened to me in the context of a relationship that I could ever once recall- a relational first!- she asked me quite simply what my preferences were. In my younger days, before marriage, I dated alot, but since 1979 there's only been three significant relationships in my life, and I can't ever remember being asked what I like. The focus always seemed to be on how I could please my partner, on how to meet her needs, or wants, or desires. Never has somone asked me what I liked. Well, I thought, and thought, and didn't have an answer. And the enormity of the thought that I really didn't know what I wanted, or what I liked overwhelmed me. It was pretty depressing. And here's this beautiful angel wanting to know, actually caring about my desires, and I couldn't answer. So now I have to process, to figure out what I want, what I need, for her advice to me was, "It's okay not to give all the time." It is a very foreign feeling to have someone wanting to give to me without expectation of getting first, or in return. I pray that I never get too old to learn; I never expected that those things I'd have to learn would be so personal...