in the moment...

I think that the older we get, and the more relational "baggage" we experience, the more we tend to drag that into current or new relationships, especially subconsciously. We tend to compare, evaluate, and make value judgements in our new relationships based on our experiences rather than solely on the merits of our partner. Our partner pays the price for our past, for they are accepted not on their merit, but on our terms, as they fit into our experiences and expectations as defined from our past.

The danger is that we could lose out on something potentially wonderful because we are blinded by our past which leads to unrealistic expectations by us for our partner. We miss out on the uniqueness of that individual because we view them through the filter of our past rather than an objective unbiased desire to get to know them for who they are. Rather we tend to value them for who they are not, or who we want them to be in light of our past "failures". All too often we are left wondering what happened, why it didn't work out, when the answer lies within ourselves; we failed in our objectivity.

Personally, I like to think I'm somewhat unique, and have something unique to offer. I don't like to feel like I'm being compared to others, or hear how someone else does or did something. For whatever reason it didn't work with them, so let them go. I am who I am, and I will give in my own unique way if allowed, and it will be good. But to compare is to live in the past, and the past is forever gone. The future is forever ahead, but the present is always with us. That's where I strive to live, that's where you can find me. I want to live in the moment for that is where the joy of living resides, that is where life happens, that is where true happiness is found. So if you are constantly looking back in your past, I am not there, for I am none of your failures. If you constantly look to the future I am not there, for I am not your ideals. I am here, in the present, living in the moment, where the joy of daily living can be found. I am here, a day at a time, being uniquely me. So if you want something unique you'll have to learn to accept me for who I am, not who your past wants to dictate me to be. I hope to find you here too.