Thoughts Outside the Box

Deep down I think everyone wants to be a better person, but sometimes we find ourselves at a loss as to how to improve. Perhaps the best way to determine our direction comes from feedback from others, but how do we solicit advice rather than criticism from others?

Asking in the appropriate manner is the first step to solicitng advice. Asking, "How can I do better?", or "How can I be a better partner/spouse/colleague?" is the most direct way to illict feedback, or advice. But when we ask our focus needs to be on the future, and not get caught up in negative past actions or words. Criticism stems from the past, advice focuses on the future.

The second, and perhaps most important step we need to do is to follow through. If you ask for advice let the person know you are willing to act on it. It is frustrating to be asked for advice, then feel like your words carried no weight, that your suggestions were just blown off... The result is often resentment, especially in our personal relationships where opening up and sharing often leads to being in a position of vulnerability.

Non-action after asking for advice may lead to a breakdown in future communication... Food for thought...