Conflict Resolution...

When the relationship starts to cloud up and get stormy... It seems a number of recent posts have had a relational tone to them, and indeed, healthy relationships are an ideal dear to my heart, so I thought I'd just recap some of my recent thoughts by putting down some questions that may help put conflict into a different perspective for us... I'm not naive enough to believe that couples would actually stop and ask themselves(or each other) these questions during the heat of the moment, but when the emotion subsides perhaps these thoughts will come to mind and help aid in the resolution of the problem.. There are certainly other options, other approaches, to conflict resolution; the following is just food for thought, to perhaps allow us to consider the conflict, and possible solutions, more objectively...

When a disagreement occurs and resolution is necessary perhaps these questions can be asked, and issues addressed…
1. What specifically is the problem? (Not the symptom, but the root problem)
2. What do you want me to do to resolve it?
3. What do I want you to do to resolve it?
4. If I were on the other side of this dispute would I consider my request fair?
5. What is more important in the long run, my hurt or anger, or our relationship?
6. If I committed this wrong would I want forgiveness, and, if so, am I willing to extend it now?
7. Am I willing to sacrifice “our time” together to remain in conflict?

Clearly communicating better is key to conflict resolution. It seems paramount that we figure out a way to more accurately communicate with the health of the relationship as our highest priority.

Possible ways of dealing with delicate issues:
1. Never discuss emotionally. Get emotions under control before discussing, even if you need to leave the immediate area for a while, with the clear understanding that we will address the issue at a specific time. Don’t leave with the unresolved issue hanging in limbo.
2. Start the discussion with prayer. Ask that God be the unseen mediator in the discussion.
3.Discuss in a mutually agreeable place, but with an element of privacy.
4. Remind each other of their importance to you despite the disagreement, and your desire to restore the harmony of the relationship. After God, we should be each other’s priority.
5. If your partner just isn’t willing to meet you half way, prepare yourself to go all the way to do whatever is necessary for restoration, for some time you may need him/her to go the extra distance for you.