Questions???

Sometimes, especially late at night when I have trouble sleeping, I find myself questioning- my faith, existence, the whys of life... Is this all there is? Why do bad things happen, especially to me? Haven't I been through enough? What am I supposed to learn from [this]? Sometimes I find myself feeling guilty for my questions. After much thought I've come to the conclusion that questioning doesn't really flow from a lack of faith, although that's what my heart tells me, rather it is an exercise that allows me to strengthen my faith...

I think that questioning isn't bad, for if I question things but still do what is right then my faith is stronger for it, for if my belief is that God is in control and will ultimately reveal His plan for me through my circumstances and I continue to follow Him even through periods of doubt it is my faith that grows, that strengthens... I think that lack of questions, or blind faith, indicates a fear to grow spiritually, a fear to push the boundries of what we believe, a desire to remain within the comfort zone of the known...

Questions open up our intellectual and spiritual horizons and allow us to grow far beyond the known, and although scary, and sometimes conflicting, they stretch us in new directions. To grow is to live, to remain (intellectually and spiritually) stagnant is to exist, and ultimately to merely exist is intellectual and spiritual suicide. I think God is pleased when we question, when we face doubts and fears and don't allow them to paralyze us into inaction, either physically, intellectually or spiritually. I believe He is pleased when we exercise our choice in the face of doubts and fears to continue to follow His tenants, for the greatest gift we can give God is the gift of our free will to believe in Him, to exercise our faith, and to choose to grow closer to Him...

One of God's greatest gift to us was our free will to be able to choose to follow Him. Although he created us out of His desire for community, out of His desire to fellowship with us He wanted us to freely to desire to live in community with Him. When Adam and Eve did the whole disobedience thing and sinned Adam chose to intentionally turn from that fellowship, that community and one of our greatest gifts became our greatest curse. And yet, it is that curse that allows us to turn back to God, to choose daily to live in community with Him, even though we cannot physically be in His prescence as Adam was able to be... Faith is believing in the unseen, and questions help clarify and strengthen what we believe. what we know but cannot see.

I think I'll continue to question...