Listening: The Lost Art of Communicating

Though she's often rude, brash, and incredibly egotistical, I still find myself liking Judge Judy Scheinlin. She has some favorite sayings she uses to those who appear in front of her bench. Two of my favorites are: "Put on your listening ears", and, "God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason". Judge Judy reminds us all that the art of listening is a lost art at best. Why do so few know how to really listen?

One reason is because we've learned to operate within our own agenda. We don't really care what others are saying if it doesn't impact or further our agenda. We learn to "tune out" those things we consider unimportant.

We operate in such a fast-paced world that we have become calloused to those around us, as we run through our days and nights, until we finally stop, exhausted and only wanting to rest, communication the furthest thing from our minds...

When we do take the time to listen to another all too often we hear something that catches our attention and immediately begin to form a mental response, impatiently waiting to voice our thoughts. All that is said after that which piqued our interest and started our mental train running is lost.

Listening is half of the art of communication. So many people today complain that communication is lacking in their relationships, usually meaning that their mate isn't sharing. Yet how well are they listening? Listening takes practice. We must develop the practice of actually concentrating on what is being said to us, and patience to wait until what is said is complete before forming and verbalizing our responses. I would venture to guess many of those complaining of lack of communication in their relationship, those who want their mate to talk more, need to learn to listen.

Listening properly adds great value and deminsion to a relationship. When you listen intently to what is said you are saying to your mate, "I care about what you think, about what you say". Without ever saying a word you are communicating that they are important to you, that you respect them enough to listen to what they say. Good listening makes the speaker feel important, valued. And what relationship couldn't use that?

Food for thought...