Trust...

Most would agree that one of the fundemental building blocks in any relationship is trust, but in reality, what is trust? Why is it so fragile, so easily broken, even shattered? Trust is vulnerability, it's counting on another to hold our best interests above their own, to act in a consistently perfect manner toward our vulnerability, and when they don't it is damamged, not just in this relationship, but often in future relationships as well. We have a tendency to hold onto our vulnerabilities, to wall them up, and protect ourselves against future hurt.
In a trusting relationship we expect another to act, in reality, as God acts; holding our vulnerabilities perfectly, without fear of failing us, and yet we are all sadly, weakly human, and at times we do fail those who trust us... It is in those times we find our trust betrayed that we make a decision, sometimes even subconciously, to extend grace and remain vulnerable with the betrayer, or withdraw and erect walls. Often the deeper the betryal the quicker the withdrawal...
No one likes to be hurt, and the natural, human reaction is to withdraw, for we trust ourselves most of all with our vulnerabilities. And yet, when objectively examining ourselves, we are far from the best, or safest person to protect our vulnerabilities. For, by their very nature, vulnerabilities are weaknesses, our weaknesses, and we think that we are the best resource to protect those weaknesses. In essence, in our weakness we strive to protect our weaknesses... This is why trust is so fragile. we can't protect it, others have broken it, and we become afraid of future hurt out of our past experience. There is only one "safe haven" with our trust, only one who holds it perfectly without fear of failure. Yet we stubbornly hold on in our own strength, or weakness, rather than trust God who is perfect in his love for us, and is perfectly trustworthy.
Another reason some of us find it hard to lay ourselves open to hurt again is because, deep in the recesses of our soul, we recognize our shortcomings, our failures in the area of trust, and we fear if we trust another they will fail us because it's what we may do, or have done. We transfer our weakness on another for that has been our experience, and we don't want to hurt as we may have hurt others.
So how do we rebuild trust? At some point, if we are to overcome our fear of hurt, we must objectively realize we are not the best resource to protect our vulnerabilities. God is the perfect resource, the only unfailing resource. We can trust him to place in our lives the resources, the people who can help us overcome our vulnerabilities, those strong in the area of our weakness. We must be willing to seek them out, to lean on their strength, their wisdom in our area of vulnerability. Then we need to make a conscious decision to extend grace, to forgive the betrayer, to unpack that baggage so that it isn't carried into our next relationship. For, to the extent that we hold onto our hurts, to the extent that we retreat behind a wall, it is to that extent that we rob ourselves that measure of completeness in our next relationship. To be able to fully love we must be willing to be fully vulnerable. To be fully vulnerable means we must be willing to trust again...