Trust II...

I wrote on the subject of trust last August, and in retrospect find it all relavent still, so I'll try not to repeat myself, at least not too much... One comment I made though, that I'd like to expound on a bit, is how fragile trust is. I must revisit that thought a moment, for as fragile as trust can be it is the glue that holds a relationship together and there are many, many relationships that have stood the test of time. Why? Because the trust, the glue that bonds two people together, is so strong. It made me realize that to outside influnences trust can be strong and unbreakable; it is vulnerable only from within the relationship. Only one of those within the circle of trust can break it. It is like our personal castle; we are safe within our relationship from outside attacks. It is not until one who is in the castle decides to lower the drawbridge that the castle becomes vulnerable. Until then it is impervious to attack or seige.

I learned something else about trust. In my previous blog I spoke of the hurt of being betrayed, and the natural tendency to withdraw. I've learned that there's hurt too, when we're the betrayer, especially if it's unintentional. To experience betrayal, and all the hurt that accompanies it, then to inflict that hurt on another that we care about, no matter how unintentional, is even more devistating. We know and understand the pain of the betrayed, in essence we relive it through the memories of our past experiences, but we add to it the guilt of inflicting it on a loved one. It's a boatload of negative emotion. The only salve is the understanding and grace of the one betrayed, the willingness of the other to remain vulnerable. It makes us appreciate all the more the concept of grace...

Personally, through my past life experiences, I still have issues with trust, and perhaps always will, but I think the main element of trust is commitment, and perhaps with the growth of commitment trust will naturally repair itself... I don't know; I'll have to think about this some more... Food for thought...