Intentionality...

I am sometimes amazed at how weak I am. Not physically weak, for as someone used to refer to me, "I'm strong like bull", but weak in my will. I think it's very, very rare for me to have a problem differentiating between what's right and wrong, what I should do and shouldn't do, but there are times that, despite my acute awareness, my complete knowledge that something is wrong I still do it; most often when a way from the eyes of others.

So why do I, in the most intimate private times, choose to do what I know is wrong? I used to think it was because sin can be so attractive. Let's face it, if sin weren't appealing we wouldn't have as much trouble avoiding it. But it can be attractive, it can look fun in the moment. But that's not why. Not really. Because the alternative, doing good, feels better, and for longer, than the temporary enjoyment sinning gives, followed by the ever-present guilt that follows, and regret.

So why? I think it's because I choose not to be intentional. We all have free will, but to follow that life-style of Jesus Christ we must, no, I must determine to be intentional. That means when faced with a decision of doing right, or wrong, I don't weight the benefits or detriments of each, I just intentionally exclude the wrong choice, and intentionally follow the right one. It doesn't become a case of succumbing to desire then, it becomes an itellectual choice to do right, regardless of whether anyone is watching or not. Emotion is removed from the decision-making process, and the opportunity to mess up is greatly reduced, for emotions are fickle creatures, and often lead us astray... And so, for the temporal pleasure, the desire of the moment, if I choose inappropriately, I then have to deal with remorse, regret, guilt. And I have to seek forgiveness... It really is easier to adjust my perspective, and choose wisely... Food for thought...