Relationships...

I wrote, a few blogs ago, about how many things are circular, but I did not include perhaps the most important of all things actually designed to be circular in nature, but we convolute and distort it so badly that rarely do we see it as it was designed to be... And that thing is relationships.

Our society is set up in hierarchies, with chains of command, rules to protect them and live by, power struggles to administer the hierarachal laws... We rarely see relationships outside the context of the hierarchy structure. Often there are control issues, power struggles, breakdowns in communication- why? Because we were designed for a different type of relationship, a circular relationship. So how does it work?

Now, without getting all Bible-thumping on you, I want to look at how He who is Love teaches us about how to act in relationship. In John, chapter 15, Jesus says, "Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no man than this; that he lay down his life for his friends". Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians expounds on this when he says, "Submit yourselves to one another out of reverence for Christ". So what exactly are they saying? The premise is simple: In relationship you consiously put your partner first. The object in relationship is for each partner to make the other the priority of the relationship. The word for "submit" that Paul uses literally means "to get under and lift up". I put you first; your needs, wants, and desires become my priority. You put me first; my needs, wants, and desires become your priority. What a beautiful concept, and such a relationship cannot help but build love, desire, and devotion. Vulnerability and trust grow out of the security we have that another holds our heart, and our heart is safe.

So why is this so difficult to see, to model? Because it takes a "servant" mentality, and that is not something we practice naturally. There's no power struggle, no drive to be on top or in control- indeed the opposite is true. But that's the secret to the most incredible relationship two people can ever experience. When we see two people totally committed to each other something in our hearts respond to that and we want that...

So this is the secret to how to live in relationship, brought to you by your relastionally challenged host. I challenge you- give it a try and see how incredible it can be. Food for thought...