Uniquely Unequal Love...

I read somewhere, that we do not love others equally, and as a father my first thought was of my children, and how I love them all the same. Yet deeper introspection made me realize that I do not love all my children the same; I can honestly say that I love each with all my heart- in that they are equal, but that's where it ends. I came to realize that each child has impacted me differently, and with each one I have a unique relationship, and that causes me to love them uniquely different from each other. I don't love one neccessarily "better" than another, just differently.

After I was able to come to terms with this epiphany I began to do a little reminicing about past relationships, both within my family and those of a romantic nature. I came to realize that not only do I love those I care or have cared about differently, that love has also changed through the course of the relationship and time... I also came to realize, especially in those of a romantic nature, that sometimes the ability to love was held captive by the past. I found that, especially in one instance, my partner was convinced that she's met "the love of her life", the relationship failed and there would never be another. She'd had a long term relationship after her marraige that also failed, and she wasn't going to put herself out there again and be hurt again.

I realize now that her desire was to experience that "first love" sensation that she once had, and you just can't duplicate love or the experience of love. That's why her second relationship failed. And the ensuing pain didn't allow her to try again- and our relationship failed. Each love relationship is unique, and to try to get it to conform to past ideals dooms it to failure. Let it live, let it grow, experience the new and unique relationship- it's unique to you and your mate, and no one else. It is yours, to share together.

One lady I was with asked me about my past and was surprised to hear me say that I still love my ex-wife. And I still do, and always will. And I love each woman God has brought into my life still, to this day, even though I have been terribly hurt by some- been lied to, decieved, robbed, rejected- it doesn't matter about the bad stuff in the end. Those are just the things that assure me we weren't made to be together forever. But each one loved me uniquely, for a time, as I did them, and those memories allow me to remember why I loved them, and allow me to continue to love them for who they were to me... Memories are subjective, and we can choose to hang on to the good ones, and remember why we loved. And that makes each and every relationship worthy, no matter how it ended. Perhaps one day I will meet my "forever lady", and when I do I will love her completely and uniquely, because those who were before helped teach me to love. Food for thought...