We all desire to someone special in our lives, to walk with, to share with... Right now I don't have that companion, that love, but still hope that one day I will be so blessed. Today I was thinking of her, whoever she might be, and wanted to share with her a bit from my heart...
My Darling,
I want you to know how much you mean to me, to my heart, to know that you love and accept me just as I love and accept you. I want you to know how you captivate my thoughts, and hold my love captive until we meet again. You are my sunshine, my source of warmth, and energy, the light that dispells the darkness that lonliness cast before you.
I know we both want to be perfect for each other, but reality says that isn't going to happen. I know I am going to disappoint you, as you will me. The question we must ask ourselves is, "Is this disappointment going to be a stumbling block, or a building block?" I imagine, if your experience has been anything like mine, all too often those disappointments became stumbling blocks that ultimately doomed the relationship. But I'm here today, to tell you that it doesn't have to be. Tell me when I let you down, for that is not my heart's desire, and I will do everything in my power to make amends. And I promise to tell you, when I get hurt, or disappointed, and we can work toward resolution together. If we agree our relationship is good, and right, then our disappointments can become learning experiences, and be building blocks instead of stumbling blocks.
I know I haven't experienced that kind of relationship in my past, for whatever the reason, I haven't found a lady willing to commit to a common bottom line, so walking away was the road they often chose to take. But you are willing to commit to me, as I am to you, and walking is not a relational option. And we gain strength from our commitment, and trust grows, and our love deepens...
Please remember, my Love, that love is regressive, for as we grow in our relationship we become more trusting, more vulnerable, and we let down our guard to each other, revealing our flaws and faults that we initially tried to hide. We are not perfect anymore, but better yet, we are accepted, and loved despite our deficiencies, for our goal remains steadfast: We desire to be together, to love one another... Thank-you for sharing that goal, and thank-you for your understanding and acceptance.
Know that I love you, and am here for you, and will be in the future. I look forward to walking through life, hand-in-hand with you, making memories on life's journey that will warm our hearts and minds in the years ahead. My happiness is not found in doing any one thing, rather, it is found in doing anything with you. My desire is to fulfill you, to bring you happiness, and contentment for the rest of our lives together, til death do us part... I love you, whoever, and where ever you are.
Bud
6 comments:
I can sooooo relate to what you just wrote. I feel for you...really!!!
I am the type of person that you described. I was in a marriage where I was devoted to the end. I forgave things that most other women would never ever forgive. I kept giving and giving no matter what, because I believed in our commitment to each other. If he had believed in his commitment to our marriage even 1/4th as much, we would have had a strong and healthy relationship.
I have often wondered if there are any men out there who really do have that same type of desire and commitment to their wives.
After reading your comments....I have a bit more hope that they really do exist. Now the trick is....how to find him!!! That's the tough part.
Good luck in finding that special lady that you can devote your life to. Good luck in finding that person who, no matter how vulnerable you are to her, she would never take advantage of that and hurt you. Good luck in finding the type of lady who is dedicated to you, her husband.
You have given me hope that there really are men out there who do want to have what I am also looking for.
I hope I can give you the same hope. I can assure you that there are a few of us out here. The question is... how to find her!
I don't have the answer to that. I just suggest never giving up your search for her as I intend to never give up my search for him.
I wish you the best!
jsh
Dear jsh,
Thank-you for sharing your story and offering hope. I know that there are special ladies out there, I just hope and pray I'm sensitive enough to recognize them, and bold enough when they touch my world. Best of luck in your search also!
Bud
I chose several years ago to be single because of the pitfalls of bad relationships and the fear of being hurt. I also discovered my inability to make wise choices in men. It is recently that God has begun to open my heart and mind to realize that I have numbed myself to affection. As a form of protection I have just shut down, closed off and built a wall around my heart. In the process I have suceeded at not getting hurt in bad relationships by not being in any at all. Now, I find it difficult to understand what real love is and have even begun to realize that I don't think I have ever even experienced it. My past relationships were based on a codependency to belong to someone not to love(having an abusive relationship was better than no relationship at all). So, now I find myself longing to want to fall in love with Christ, but what does that mean. How can I possibly fall in love with a man or have love for others when I don't know how to identify love.
LOVE?????
Dear Anonymous,
My heart hurts for you, for the pain that your relationships must have caaused, rather than the joy they should have brought. I am so sorry, and will blog a more complete answer, for perhaps it will aid all of us to look at what love is...
Bud
What a beautiful love letter to an unknown woman!!!
I can relate to your anonymous responder from the sense that I too had to grow out of codependence...but she can...and it is retraining of the brain...it is being as good as one can be for oneself and loving oneself for that without expecting perfection from oneself nor another... it is learning to choose much better and not settling for less than one deserves, again, not in perfection either...for none of us are perfect nor ever will be. It is learning also to choose with unfamiliarity (which can create fear at first) rather than familiarity which the "old brain " so craves. In other words, to get out of our old and not so good comfort zone, we have to choose that which is unfamiliar but oh so good for us. Far too many people walk around choosing yet again the "same person" who created so much pain and perhaps abuse over and over ... different names but same basic personnas.
I still believe contrary to much publicity that the best unions come from two people who are givers and good communicators... yet possess enough differences and the desire to keep the spark igniting again and again.... two mostly whole people.
Scott Peck has written two great books, in my humble opinion, on exactly this...The Road Less Traveled and Further Down the Road Less Traveled.
C
Thank-you again, for your insights txsoutherngrace, and your willingness to share out of your personal experiences, as well as the references. And I think I agree with your assement of what makes a good union. I'm glad you enjoyed the letter, but the woman is well-known, at least in my heart... Who she is is not as important as what she is...
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