Cave writings...

As I closed my last blog I said I was going to sequester myself in my cave... Well, after a time of loathing, and self-pity I came to realize how dark that cave was. In fact, it was so dark I could no longer see me, and that's when I realized that was the problem. My eyes, my focus was on me. So the pity party ended, and I re-established my connection and my focus. My heart's desire is two-fold. My life's credo is simple: Love God, and love people. No more, no less. I do have other desires in my heart, and truly believe God when he says, "Delight yourself in Me, and I will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps 37:4) He's given me some of those desires, and to be perfectly honest, I've mishandled some and lost them. But he knows my heart, and in his infinite grace and mercy I can only trust that he will restore or replace those desires... So I let them go, and place my trust where he wants it...

I receive compliments about my blog, my writing, and I am truly grateful that it is appreciated, but in the stark light of day I know that I don't have answers, that much of what I write, that is laid upon my heart comes from common sense things most all of us know, but sometimes just haven't brought it into focus. Perhaps I'm like a magnifying glass, allowing people to see a little clearer what they already know, and for that I don't deserve praise. Solomon said that there's nothing new under the sun, and I have to agree with him. Too often we think something is fresh, and new, and exciting, only because we don't know what's gone on before, we are ignorant and blissfully happy as a result. But the more we learn, the more we expand the parameters of our knowledge, the more we see the tracks of others who've gone on before... A few more thoughts, from the cave, and then I'm done...

Today dating has become a lost art. Where once romance had the opportunity to grow, and blossom, and bear fruit, today it is squeezed into a crash course, a time-sensitive, non-commital, "make a mistake and your out" scenerio... Once, before the intenet, and cell phones, text messages, IMs, we had to wait, we had to learn patience, we learned to savor... Today, it's instant gratification, and if it's not met then it's "too bad, we tried", and on to the next. We set up ourselves up for failure, and disappointment. And those of us who have been burned in the past make the possibility of success even more remote, for we decide we are not going to compromise this time, or "settle" (I hate that word) for less than we deserve. The focus is all on "me", and that is a receipe for failure.
Relationships are all about compromise, not from one person, but both sides. It's the art of negotiation tempered with love. It's being willing to sometimes "settle" for a little less in order to get so much more (and for those of you who refuse to "settle" for someone you might like but is not up to your "standards", be really grateful God doesn't have that attitude toward you. Here's a bulletin being passed around heaven about you- your sh** stinks just like everyone else's...) (Actually, my name was on that bulletin, but I intercepted it and scratched it out and out your name in there. Sorry).

Too often we think compromise means giving in, but have you ever really looked at the word? It's made of two parts, "com" and "promise". "Com" means with, or together, or jointly, and "promise" is a declaration or reason to expect performance, especially with the expectation of success, improvement, or excellence. So putting it all together, compromise means to jointly promise to perform in a manner that promotes success, improvement, or excellence. I think that definition is much more palatable than "to make concessions", as Webster's defines it... I know I fall far short relationally, (or I'd be in a great relationship right now!), and although a patient man in many areas of my life, I am impatient relationally. Perhaps I need to step back, and learn more, before putting myself out there... I don't know, but it's food for thought...