Causes of Failed Relationships...

Why do relationships fail? We question ourselves, and even assess blame (often to ourselves) for relalationships that fail. We wonder what went wrong, how could we have avoided failure, what could we have done differently. We beat ourselves up and vow not to make the same mistakes again. Unfortunately, there's one undeniable fact that seems to prove itself over and over: We do not learn from our mistakes, and history is destined to repeat itself. So the next time, despite our best efforts, we fail again. Why?
Relationships can fail for a variety of reasons; infidelity, apathy, abuse, destruction of trust, alienation of affections, anger issues, and the list goes on. But are these reasons, or symptoms, symptoms that manifest themselves because the relationship is built on faulty foundations? I believe that there is a base reason that relationships fail, and that is selfishness. We enter relationships with the (sometimes subconsciously) hope of meeting our own needs and desires. The relationship grows or falters as our needs are met or denied. When one or both in a relationship consistently puts themselves first the relationship is destined for trouble, and likely failure.
So how do we find success in relationships? First, we have to commit to our mate, 100%, to their happiness, their success. Paul wrote that wives should "submit" to their husbands- but that's actually a loose translation. What he said was the wife should get behind and lift up her husband in all he does. And the husband's command? Love your wife as Christ loved His bride, the Church. The husband is to sacrifice everything, even to the extent of his own life, for the sake and well-being of his wife. Who commits like that today? Who loves with complete self-sacrifice? And yet, what an awesome relationship that would make! Two people committed to the happiness of the other.

The key is, especially when the relationship hits a bump in the road, is to remember this: You and your spouse/mate are on the same side, even in an argument. It is important to remember, especially in the passion of the moment, that your desire is to be one in spirit with your mate, and you should have the mindset of "what do I have to do to restore our relationship?". If you think like this then there is nothing to big or difficult to do if it leads to restoration, because your focus is on your mate. If they share a like mindset then they will do whatever necessary to restore the relationship to you. And yet, in the passion of the moment we tend to put ourselves first, and attack, or get defensive, to validate our position. And the problem grows. We need to remember our bottom line, and that is our desire is to have a happy and harmonious relationship with our mate. If that is our desire then no action is too great to do to acheive our bottom line. Food for thought...