Grandma's advice...

One of my guys is going through a tough time right now, relationally speaking, and I'm just amazed again at all the game-playing, the anger, the venom that is spewed by people who are supposed to love each other, who live together, who supposedly care for each other... Doesn't anyone ever stop to consider that once things are said that they can't be taken back? They' re out there, and they have consequences. My grandmother used to say a little ditty that went like this:

"A word when said is dead, some say.
I say, it just begins to live that day."

Now to his credit, my friend has tried to remain calm, and has sought forgiveness for his wrong in this mess, but it takes two to reconcile, and only one to break up... During work yesterday he must have received four or five text messages, full of vile and venom, and anger. To his credit he did not respond via text, on my advice actually, but that only seemed to make her angrier. (my advice was to try and talk face to face, or second best, talk on the phone). Texting, so popular today, is by far the worst way to communicate, for communication is less than 10% the words we use- the rest is tone and body language. So using only text we're limited to less than 10% of our ability to effectively communicate. And yet it has become the method of choice in our "fast food" society. It's no wonder relationships encounter serious communication problems in today's society.

Next time you encounter a "bump" in your relational road please, resist the temptation to shoot off a text, or even an e-mail. Take that extra moment to actually call, and talk to the offender/offended. Your chance not of being misinterpreted, of not being misunderstood just got better- you'll from over 90% chance of error down to about 70%. Better yet, do a face to face, and remove almost all chance of communication misinterpretation.
And as I've blogged in the past, reiterate your bottom line- if you both want to be together, if you both love each other, then even if you're fighting you are on the same side. Do whatever you have to do to restore that relationship. You'll be surprised at how fast your mate will recognize this behavior and begin to move toward reconcilliation too.  Food for thought...