Thursday, April 12, 2012

Deep down I think everyone wants to be a better person, but sometimes we find ourselves at a loss as to how to improve. Perhaps the best way to determine our direction comes from feedback from others, but how do we solicit advice rather than criticism from others?

Asking in the appropriate manner is the first step to solicitng advice. Asking, "How can I do better?", or "How can I be a better partner/spouse/colleague?" is the most direct way to illict feedback, or advice. But when we ask our focus needs to be on the future, and not get caught up in negative past actions or words. Criticism stems from the past, advice focuses on the future.

The second, and perhaps most important step we need to do is to follow through. If you ask for advice let the person know you are willing to act on it. It is frustrating to be asked for advice, then feel like your words carried no weight, that your suggestions were just blown off... The result is often resentment, especially in our personal relationships where opening up and sharing often leads to being in a position of vulnerability.
Non-action after asking for advice may lead to a breakdown in future communication... Food for thought...

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Island living...

I ran across this draft tonight, unpublished from several years ago, and in reading it I thought I messed up in not publishing it... We all need to own our wrongs, and I'm no exception... So here's a past blog that still has relevence... (And, my hair doesn't have all the grey in it that it now does!)


I messed up this week, and the amazing thing to me is how difficult it was to admit to myself that I'd screwed up. It shouldn't be anything new; I've messed up one way or another my whole life. We all do. Owning it is usually the most difficult part. Usually I don't have a problem admitting I'm wrong. I have very good self-esteem, and I learned long ago that the world doesn't stop or the universe collapse if I just own my wrong. So why was this time so different?
I think this time involved matters of the heart. I felt hurt and responded to my hurt, yet it was my error that contributed to the hurt, for I didn't remember all the circumstances (for those of you who know me know how huge that is- when do I forget anything!?) But forget I did, and then felt my hurt, and in my emotional pain reacted. Even before finding out my error I knew I'd messed up. And the result was I hurt someone I love, and created a situation that I don't think either of us ever wanted. Sure, there may have been issues to discuss, there may have been some hurt feelings anyway, but I mishandled things and magnified the problem...

So what to do? It's so difficult admitting wrong when you feel wronged, even when those feelings are unjustified... I did write a note and ask forgiveness, but it doesn't seem to be enough. It's tough being an idiot, or acting like a fool, and I imagine it's every bit as tough forgiving someone who acts that way toward us...

So much of my life I spent insulating myself from people, from letting people in, for when I have it seems like I've been deeply hurt, and let down. I've had very little faith in another's ability to care for my emotions, so I've been an island much of my life, letting the river of life flow around and by me, but not letting anyone land... Now I've let someone down, I've failed to protect that which was precious; it was my fault. It's a whole different perspective from this side of the apology. I think I feel worse than when I'm wronged...

Maybe I need more time on the island... the only one I can hurt there is myself...

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Social Unrest from One of the Silent Majority

I stopped and filled my gas tank this morning. It cost me $53 for just under 13 gallons. As I was driving in to work I mentally did the arithmetic as to what that gas would have cost when I was a child... The result- just over $2.50. Now I'm old, but I'm not that old, that the cost of gasoline should have risen over twenty times its cost in my lifetime. Yesterday an old friend stopped by my store and as we were catching up he told me that he had to shut down his small business this past year, as many have had to do, and was now working a full-time and two part-time jobs to make ends meet. He commented that he'd heard people say there are no jobs out there, but his comment was that there are jobs, just not jobs anyone wants. One of his jobs is armed security, and he shared his experience working at the Federal Building when people came in to get their aid checks, and how angry and irate they got if the checks were late. Angry over
free money... Go figure.

I was encouraged by the recent law Florida enacted, requiring people to pass a drug test before they are eligible for welfare. I think all states should adopt it, for you have to pass a drug test to get a job. Fair is fair. I got to thinking about other ways we could better change our society. Try this:

Anyone who pays taxes gets the right to vote. You don't pay you don't play. Period. Right off the top 51% of our country couldn't vote, because that's the percent of Americans who don't pay any taxes. I'm tired of hearing that the "top 2% of wealthy Americans don't pay enough in taxes- how about the bottom half of the country that pays nothing? And to compound the problem, we give tax refunds to people who pay no taxes! Tell me, if the system isn't screwed up, how can someone who pays nothing get a refund? Do away with earned income credits, with loopholes, with all the crap that rewards people for not paying anything and make a straight tax system that is fair to everyone.
Another benefit of the "no tax-no vote" rule would be the effect on politicians. No longer would it be beneficial to pander to the masses who pay nothing and are a drain on the system  just to earn their vote, for they would not have that right anymore. You would see the politicians begin to pander to those who pay for everything, the way it should have been all along...

I think we have become a very spoiled, very entitlement-driven society, and that is sad. In an effort to try and make things better for our kids each succeeding generation has, in some small part, enabled their children to feel entitled to more, whether or not it's really deserved. Now we've reached a point where we're too good for certain jobs, where we're entitled to money whether or not we earn it, where we demand what is not owed. Perhaps it isn't all bad if a generation or two doesn't fare as well as their parents- a society adjustment, if you will. It works for the stock market... If so, we'll hear that cry, "Thank goodness for Government cheese!"

Food for thought....

Sunday, April 01, 2012

Relational Glue...

Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. It doesn't matter what the dynamics of a relationship are (ie. lovers/ spouses/ parent-child/ boss-employee/ friend-friend) when the trust is violated the relationship is in serious jepordy. The reason? Trust takes time to build, but can be destroyed in an instant. Sometimes the relationship can't withstand the stress or trauma of broken trust long enough for that trust to begin to build again. And the relationship dies...

I have someone who recently violated my trust- a friend, and an employee... I don't have definitive proof of his violation, just his past track record- both long past and recent. The sad thing is that I've always been straight and generous to this person, but for whatever reason he has chosen to steal from me... Again, I don't have definitive proof this time, but he's stolen from me in the past and repented, and I recently learned he's stolen from others. Now I have to decide what to do.

I can't allow this person the freedoms within my business that I have in the past, and as my partner so aptly put it- "It's going to be uncomfortable around him. He doesn't make [me] feel good about him anymore." We want to feel good. It is natural to seek out people or situations that make us feel good, just as we prefer to avoid those (whenever possible) that make us uncomfortable. I wish I had an answer to how someone who has lied or stolen could repent without crushing the trust... It would save many relationships. Food for vthought...

Monday, March 19, 2012

Spring has sprung...

Spring has sprung. It isn't even officially the end of winter and we've blown past spring and right into summer. Eighty degree days in March. Who'd a thunk it?
There's something special, something fresh and new every spring, a rebirth after the doldrums and hibernation of winter. I am reminded, with every bloom and every blossum, the inexplicable wonder and simple complexity of creation. I am in total awe of the miracle of spring, and the beauty is I can experience it anew each and every year. One day all is drab and brown; the next a hint of green, and yet the next, an explosion.
While I love summer, and the colors of fall, there's nothing quite like the the miracle of rebirth that comes each spring. Life is ready to live again! Take a moment, enjoy the beauty as it once more unfolds, drink in spring, for it is indeed a heady draft...
Food for thought...

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

The gift in Giving...

So I find myself much more emotional lately, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I seem to be inexplicably affected by random acts of kindness, whether I'm active in the act or just a casual observer... I've always loved to give, often being criticized for being "too generous", but lately it's different. It's like I've experienced a whole new level of joy, and one I can experience either actively or inactively, although the joy is far more intense when I'm involved...

I've also noticed another interesting phenomena; it seems that when helping someone who truly needs the reaction is far different from someone who merely wants. Those who truly need tend to be far more grateful, but beyond that, they don't want to be thought of as "taking advantage" [of my generousity]... Those with wants tend to be more selfish and far less humble... I'm sure I wasn't always aware of these differences, but I'm glad I now am, for having the discretion to tell the difference allows more freedom to aid those with real needs. And experience that far deeper level of joy...

Truly, it is better to give than to receive, for in giving one receives joy- personally satisfying, deeply humbling joy. I think, perhaps being selfless is not far from being selfish, for that joy that flows deeply from my gut is intoxicating, it's addicting, and I want more... The saying is, "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime." I think that could be applied to giving. Give a man a hand and help him for a time; teach a man to give and help many people many times...

I'm getting older now, and I feel that those things I felt necessary to keep me in this world have been fulfilled. My children are grown, they're on their own, with mates, and even a couple of kids- grandkids for me- and they don't really need me anymore. I've shared with friends that I feel I've run my race, and am content, and my Father can call me home anytime, for I have no fear of death. But while I remain I will continue to labor as He wills, until that day. Meanwhile, Before I go I wish that somehow I could share the joy I receive from giving with those who've never experienced it. It would rock their world, forever... Food for thought...

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

God Things...

So I'm down in Florida visiting my folks this week. From the time I got here on Monday afternoon until today I got had no cell phone reception what-so-ever. Which isn't all bad, for I needed the rest and relaxation. But today as I was watching an episode of a show I'd downloaded on my Kindle I sudden felt the need to go for a ride on my Dad's motorscooter. Right in the middle of the show. So I did.

I was riding a minute or two (at most) when suddenly my cell phone rang in my pocket! I pulled over and answered it and lo and behold it was my daughter calling to tell me she had to undergo some medical tests and asked for my prayers. First, she never calls during the day like that, and second, my phone hadn't rang in two days. So how infintesible are the odds that I would just get up and go for a ride right when she needed to talk with me? It was again just another testement to God being in control of my life. It was definitely a "God-thing".

A lot of people don't believe in "God things", or don't want to believe in them, but it is far easier for me to believe that He orchestrated that call today than to believe in the incredibly huge odds that it was just chance. And these kinds of things happen far too often for them to be chance. So to those who choose to deny that God's in charge, to deny the overwhelming evidence that is all around us, I'm sorry for you. I'm just grateful that I'm a treasured child of the Most High God... It's an everlasting comfort. Food for thought...

Monday, January 23, 2012

Sometimes a Beard is More than a Beard...

So, I'm growing a beard... I'm not particularly fond of beards, I find them to be somewhat itchy, and I don't think I look particularly appealing in one. So why grow one? Truth be told the lady I'm seeing likes them, and seems to like mine. So am I so insecure in our relationship that I have to grow a beard just to please her?
No, of course not. Anyone who knows me knows how secure I am in myself and in my relationships. But I do like her, and am willing to do things that please her. Our relationship is strong enough to handle me clean-shaven, and yet, small relational discomforts are common in the best of relationships. Why?

Doing things outside of our comfort zones, or even things we might not ordinarily do or like is nothing more, and nothing less, than putting the wants and desires of our partner first. It is the practice of selflessness, rather than selfishness, and is a cornerstone of any healthy and successful relationship. The satisfaction of bringing joy to our mate is far more rewarding than acts of self-gratification. It's too bad that society seems to preach a "me first" mentality for all too long. Wrong lesson. As one old-timer taught me: "Happy wife, happy life." Food for thought...

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Epiphanies...

It's no secret that the economy has been in the dumpster for a long time now (since July of 2008 for my busimess), but somehow we're making ends meet and staying open. We,ve become lean and mean, and with the exception of not laying off our last two full-time employees my partner and I have cut just about everywhere possible. (We decided that it was better to keep on two guys with family obligations and take less pay ourselves than to lay them off and do it all ourselves again). Still, there are times when things get stretched pretty tight. This past week was just such a time...
We have monies in receivables that should be regularly coming in, but for some reason there were no checks in the mail all week- well, truth be told I did get one small check. I told my partner I need about $5000 by Friday to meet our obligations that week or my only option was to borrow against our line of credit. I prayed about it but still, all week, I had less than a thousand dollars come in. I was pretty stressed and decided that if nothing of substance came in Friday's mail (usually a light mail day) I would callt the bank and borrow money. Friday's mail was later than usual and my stress was climbing. But then it arrived, and there was just over $4000 in it. I ran the totals and had several hundred dollars more than I needed.
I also received a reminder of an automatic withdrawal of $134 coming out of my account and the overage in my account covered it... Now the painful confession: The first thing I did was say a prayer of thanks to my God, for supplying our needs. Then I said a prayer of grumbling, asking my Father why he had to wait to the very last second to meet my needs when trickling it in throughout the week would have allieviated my stress considerably...

I didn't give it a lot of thought after that, but this morning, as I was singing in the shower, a thought was strongly impressed upon me- an epiphany, if you will. And an epiphany I believe from God. Suddenly the thought was there that answered my grumbling prayer of why checks didn't trickle in throughout the week. If the checks would have trickled in then it wouldn't have been a "God thing". My stress was my failure to trust, to believe properly. My stress was my fault if I indeed believed and trusted God to meet my needs. Ideally I would have just trusted Him and not worried about it...

Then I started thinking about epiphanies. Personally, I believe they come from God. How else can we rationally explain suddenly knowing what was previously unknown? If not from God then from whence do they come? The case for God is strong: Who better to impart knowledge than the All-Knowing? who better to impart wisdom than He who is all-wise? Certainly the Uncreated can impart His wisdom in any way He desires, but what fun to implant an idea, so suddenly, that His created are amazed and excited by it? I imagine our Heavenly Father gets the same joy and satisfaction out of watching his children "discover" new truths as I did watching my children learn and discover "new" things as they grew up (until they were teenagers- then they knew everything, as the case often is with that age group!) Thanks to my Heavenly  Father, for His patience with me, for allowing me to continue to learn, even so far long in my life... Food for thought...

Friday, January 06, 2012

2012- A New Year... Resolutions?

The worst time of the year for me, it seems, is around the end of the year, especially from the middle of December forward. It seems like some of the really bad, or really painful memories in my life stemmed from past Decembers. I lost a child in December, the beginnig of the end of my marriage- December, and for the last twenty seven years I've had the busiest time of my business year the last week or two of the year. Stir in all the holiday hoopla from Thanksgiving through the New Year and it's a really hectic time of life for me. And one thing I've learned- the busier the times the less likely you'll find anyone who cares if you're hurting. Not that they're not caring, rather they're not as sensitive when busy. People tend to get wrapped up in their lives, their hassles, and seldom remember past hurts of others... Not a condemnation on people, but merely an observation. I probably am more guilty of this than any other...

I'm not big on resolutions, for seldom do they seem to stick, at least for me. But this year I think I will try to be more cognizant, more aware of a couple of thoughts. First, I want to try to avoid bringing up past mistakes in relationships, especially with those who are closest to me. Siblings, kids, parents, significant others, these all know us well, and we them, and I can't help but think it will be happier to forgive and move on, or it could negatively impact my present happiness. In other words, make peace with the past so it won't spoil the present.
Second, I want to remember that it is not my job that will take care of me when sick, or down, or lonely. It is not my job who will be there for me in my times of need- but family and friends can and will, so I resolve to try harder to stay in touch, to make myself more available to them, to try and be a helpmate in their times of need too. Life isn't a destination; life is all in the journey. I want to daily remember that, for to keep my eyes glued to the goal blinds me to life that's happening all around me.

I just want to be a better person- that's my resolution... Food for thought...     

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Fiscal Conservatism...

I came to adulthood during the Jimmy Carter- Ronald Reagan presidencies and, though young and not greatly vested in our economy, I did realize how Carter's policies failed so dramatically, and subsequently lived through the golden era of Reganomics, some 25 years of prosperity. Now today we stand on the brink of a Carter-esque catastrophy again. What went wrong?
Clearly, we failed to learn from our past, and, in addition, we've elected people who either cannot do basic math, or choose not to. Instead, some politicians used some sort of convoluted math that defies logic to promote their own selfish agendas. Now I'm not speaking here as a Republican, or a Democrat, or even an Independent- I'm speaking strictly as a Fiscal Conservative.
I believe in many of those principles that Reagan promoted as a solution for our economic mess, especially that limited government is critical to economic growth. We won't find that today, for it would mean putting some of the 50 million people on the government payroll out of work and force some to find a real job. It would mean that some elected officials would actually have to do their jobs, instead of delegating everything to underlings. It would mean that, at some point, politicians would have to learn to work together again...

As to basic math, that our politicians don't seem to understand, it's simply this principal- 20% of a million is a lot more than 50% of a hundred thousand. Reagan understood this and slashed income taxes on the wealthy- from the 70% that Carter had assessed them to 28%. Now politicians screamed that we were allowing the rich to get richer and the poor middle class would be burdened unfairly. Sorry, but they were wrong, and history now proves it.
Under Carter, in 1979, the top 1% of Americans paid 18.3% of our total taxes (at a 70% rate). By 2006, at 28%, they were now paying 39.1%. In fact, the top ten percent of wealthy Americans paid 48.1% in 1979, but by 2006 they were 72.8%. One step further- the top 40% of all earners paid 85.1% of taxes in 1979 while in 2006 they paid 98.7%. Conversely, the bottom 40% in 1979 paaid 4.1% of all income taxes, while in 2006 they were receiving 3.3% in payments from the government. Why is this true, in direct opposition to the rhetoric were being force-fed today?

First, the premise that it takes money to make money is true. Consequently, those who have money will invest where they can make money. In 1979 it was not in America, where they lost more than 70 cents out of every dollar they earned. But under Reagan they got to keep about 70 cents out of every dollar, thereby making investing in America much more appealing. This created economic growth, which led to more jobs, increased spending, greater revenue streams for the government, lower interest rates, and lower unemployment. In all, a healthier economy.
Second, it is the wealthy that create jobs, which in turn creates income, which in turn leads to more taxes paid, which in turn leads to more revenue for our govenment. I have never one time, in all my 50+ years of life, ever seen or even heard of a poor man giving a rich man a job. Never, not even once. However, I know many rich men who give many, many more poorer men jobs. So it is in the best interest of our country to keep our wealthy investing in us, not someplace overseas...
Third, we've allowed what I call "Government Creep", or the slow (and sometimes not so slow) growth of the size of government over the years. Once government grows it fights the very people who elected them to keep what it's gained. It is like a snowball, rolling downhill, gaining size and momentum until it crashes and breaks. We need to stop it before it is entirely unmanagable and destroys itself and us with it... As Reagan believed, what we need to return to- limited government...

So to our current crop of politicians I say this- Grow up and work together. We're all Americans, we all want a healthy country. Learn to work together or get out. To Obama, and your obviously failed policies that are leading our country into fiscal ruin, look at our history, learn from our past. It's not too late to reverse yourself from your whole socialistic "share the wealth" philosophy and do something good for our nation.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Eternity and the finite mind...

I was pondering, this past Thanksgiving weekend, the concept of Eternity. It's a tough ponder, for infinite concepts are not really graspable by the finite mind. Infinite concepts are really only understood by the Uncreated, where infinite is a state of being. Still, I was again amazed at how little we tend to consider what comes after this life...
I believe in a Heaven, and I believe in a Hell, and so time to time I find myself pondering what is to come. It seems that most people I know or meet are really preoccupied with the stresses of day-to-day living, and to getting ahead in this life so what is to come doesn't seem to be of much concern. (It's interesting, but the closer we get to death and dying the more important it seems to become). Still, we should try to consider Eternity, and more than just the occassional thought, for in the larger picture it is really Eternity that matters.
We seem to have gotten our priorities mixed up, for all our focus is on the temporal. If we live say, 70 to 80 years, why do we focus so much time and energy on how we live during those few years when we will exist in Eternity- millieniums of millineums of time spent in either Heaven or Hell... The reality is, the impact we make on world during our few years on this earth, could be equated by the hole you'd leave when you pull your finger out of a bucket of water...  So why aren't we spending more time getting ready for Eternity?
Eternity is an infinite concept, and as such it is incredibly difficult to understand with a finite mind. Actually, we can never fully understand the concept, for it is beyond our reasoning, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. Concepts like infinity and eternity, things with no beginning and no end, are beyond our reason, for we view time in a linear sense, as a succession of events that move us forward. But time, another infinite concept, isn't necessarily linear, it is portrayed as such to give our finite senses a point of bearing... God exists outside of the concept of time, and is not bound by it's properties and restrictions, so He therefore can see us at all points of our lives at once- but that's another discussion...
I guess the thought I have today, is what am I, or what are you, doing to better prepare for a life after this one? If you believe in life after death, then there a good chance that there's a heaven and a hell too, so where are you headed, and are you secure in destination? To my atheist friends I just have this to say: Should I be right and you be wrong, perhaps you'd better pack for really warm weather... Food for thought.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Our Well of Insecurity and Inadaquacy...

Warning: This blog is personal, and may well get personal, so if you don't want personal change channels now.

I was out doing leaves again today, for yard work often gives me time to think, and my thoughts turned to my blog and the fact that I haven't blogged in a while. As is often my way I questioned myself on why I haven't written and I came to the conclusion that I really didn't have anything good to say, and I didn't want to write some drivel just to be writing. It occured to me that I write because some people like it, and by extention they might like me. I realized that I, so often the loner, really do want to be liked. Why?

Self-examination, or introspection, is often scary, and sometimes painful. It isn't something anyone really enjoys doing, for there's a place that we all know, that we've all experienced at one time or another, and most people try to avoid it... Did you ever see the movie "The Ring"? Remember that scary well? We all have one of those, that penetrates deep in our soul. It's that place most try to avoid, for to visit there, to gaze in its depths, is to visit the realization of how damaged we are. Every one of us, no exceptions. And most people don't like to acknowledge our damaged state. The deeper we go into that well the more exposed are our inadaquacies and insecurities. The terror of the depths is [almost] overwhelming. It's the reason why we work so hard, play so fast, sometimes push ourselves to the brink of ehaustion. We strive to keep busy for to slow down is to expose ourselves to that one person that knows us best- ourselves. As long as we stay busy, as long as we are working on the "who" we are,  we don't have the time, or the effort, to consider "what" we are. And that "what" is broken, damaged goods. We are all flawed. We are all left wanting. There's a hole in our soul that we long to fill, but no amount of busyness can fill it, nothing we can do can take away that insecurity, that feeling of inadaquacy we have when faced with the reality of ourselves. The deeper we descend into that well the more depressing it gets, so people try to do anything to keep from facing their well. Why is depression so rampant among those who have been hurt, hospitalized, laid up? Because of the misfourtune that has befallen them? Possibly, but more likely because they can no longer "do", for a time they must just "be". When unable to do we find ourselves faced with the reality of who and what we are, and that is a depressing scary thing.
What is this hole, that we can not ourselves fill? It is our separation from our purpose, our severence from our reason for our creation. It is seperation from our Creator, our God. But there is hope, especially when we dare to descend into our well, into our insecurity and inadaquacy, for when we are at our lowest, when we find ourselves most vulnerable, we only have to look and Jesus is there. He always meets us where we are, and he's always there to meet us in our hour of greatest need. A personal relationship with Him fills that hole that we can never fill alone. He gives reason for living, that no amount of hustle and bustle can ever fill. Even now, in my life, I sometimes find wrapped up in my own flaws and insecurities, descending down that well, and there, at my lowest, I find him, waiting, watching for me to acknowledge Him, to allow Him to give me strength and purpose that this world never can.
I went to see Bill Cosby last week and he spoke of his belief in the Bible and in God. Then he said, "I really feel sorry for atheists. They've left themselves no wiggle room. What are they gonna say to God when it turns out they're wrong?" I think he's absolutely right though, for we were created for community with God, and only God can fill that void. No goal, no amount of hustle, no bar scene or busyness can ever fill God's spot. I believe people choose not to believe in God because it helps them ignore their own flawed state' If there's no God then there's no rason to go near their own well, to gaze into their brokenness, to admit they're damaged goods. Only God fixes broken, only God restores damaged- no matter how hard we try. Food for thought...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Disillusionment: The Key to Community

The other night I expressed how deeply flawed I was, how disillussioned I was with myself, for I knew me, and I know how flawed and wrong I am and can be. Although I was reassured by my friend that certainly it isn't so I knew in my heart how right I was in my innermost feelings. I knew and recognized my feelings, yet I did not fully understand them, or their reasons for existing. Tonight I read a passage from "Life Together" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer that said' "God is not a God of the emotions but a God of truth. Only that fellowship that faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects,begins to be what it should be in God's sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise given to it. The sooner the shock of disillusionment comes to an indiviual and to a community the better for both." It was like a lightswitch was thrown- an answer, an understanding to my feelings of inadequacy and disillusionment with who and what I am.
     For me to enter into community with God, through my relationship with his son Jesus Christ, I must be stripped of all illusions of who I think God wants me to be, be stripped of all illusions of who I think I should be, and freed from all illusions and visions of how I think community with him should be. Bonhoeffer says later, "God hates visionary dreaming. It makes the dreamer proud and pretentious. The man who fashions a visionary ideal of community demands that it be realized by God, by others, and by himself. He enters the community of Christians with his own demands, sets up his own law, and judges the brethren and God himself accordingly." The point here is it is not for us to dream, to try and determine what community with God and other Christians should look like. It is just for us to enter into it, to allow God to work in his model of community, not ours. He already has brought us into fellowship with him, through the blood and mediation of his son, and we are already ready to live in community with him if we can only cast aside our visions of what that should be and just enter in with him...
    As I reflect on past experiences, both personal and observed, I can't help but see the truth that Bonhoeffer was so eloquently describing. In my past was I not guilty of spiritual pride? Did I not hold others to my own exacting standards, did I not sit in condemnation of others who didn't measure up? I was wrong, for I was inflicting my visions, my standards on others, and I was woefully prideful in my own "goodness". And what of the larger model of community, the church? I cannot recall attending even one local church that did not have a "vision" or visions of what they wanted to be and/or what they desired to accomplish. I think back on past, and even recent, cutbacks of staff and programs in churches I've attended and now ask myself, "Were they striving to meet their own 'vision' or were they laying aside all their illusions and just living in community with God and allowing him to direct the direction and 'vsion' of the church?" I can't help but wonder that if God were really directing things would there ever be a need for a cutback or layoff? Are we, as local bodies of Christ (churches) guilty of being visionaries?
     "For he himself is our peace..." (Eph. 2:14). When we come into community with God, through Jesus Christ, and do so without our visions, our illusions, we find peace, I find peace. We find peace with God, whatever the circumstance, and we find peace with our Christian brothers also living in community with God. Community is a gift of grace from God, pure and undistorted, if we only enter in in our dissillusionment... Food for thought...

Monday, October 24, 2011

To have, or not to have...

I was preparing to go to my honey's house this past Sunday, to watch football together, (that's right guys- she watches football! Eat your hearts out!) when I remembered some stuffed pizza I had left in the fridge and I thought, "I wonder if I should take it, just in case we want to nibble on it?" Better to have it, I reasoned, and not want it, than to want it and not have it...
That led me to ponder, is it better to want something but not have it, or have something but not want it? If we lack something and desire it we well may work toward achieving it. On the other hand, having something but not wanting it is waste, perhaps depriving someone of something they may want or need. Not having can create desire, give purpose or direction, set a goal. Having but not wanting is paramount to being wasteful, leading to nothing productive, just the accumulation of things no longer desireable...
Perhaps we need to rethink our motivation in our drive to accumulate "things", for the achievement is not in their aquisition, but in the drive, the desire created, to achieve. It is not the "thing" we desire that is important, but the setting and achieving of the goal... Food for thought...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Relationship Enrichers...

I often think that, as a society, we should get back to simplier, less complicated ways in our lives. We live life at breakneck speed, often going from dawn to dusk, without pause to realize that life is happening now, as we fly right by in our quests to accomplish. Occassionally slowing down, even stopping, to enjoy the moment can add untold riches to our lives, if only we realized...
This morning I was pondering the eloquence of three simple words, and the thought then occured to me that there are quite a number of three word phrases that could enrich and enhance our lives if we only chose to regularly practice them. For example:
I was wrong.
You go first.
I miss you.
May I help?
I am sorry.
Thank-you for____.
I appreciate you.
You're the best.
Please help me.
Simple phrases, surely, but packed with power. Relationship enrichers...
But the most powerful of all the simple phrases, the most incredibly impactful one is simply,
"I Love You"...
Food for thought...

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Bonhoeffer on "Religion"

I've expressed my views in the past concerning "religion", and have stated I am not a religious person, nor do I ascribe to all the do's and don'ts we seem to have in organized religion... Tonight as I was reading "Bonhoeffer" I read a quote from his journal, that he wrote after attending a service at Riverside Church, in New York, 1939. (Riverside was one of the pre-ememinent churches of it's day) I think he experienced what I have observed even today in many of our church experiences. It went as follows: "The whole thing was a respectable, self-indulgent, self-satisfied religious celebration. This sort of idolatrous religion stirs up the flesh which is used to being kept in check by the Word of God. Such sermons make for liberalism, egotism, indifference. Do people know that one can get on as well, even better, without "religion"?"

I believe what Dietrich Bonhoeffer was saying was that when we tend to get wrapped up in the whole "religion" experience we tend to lose sight of Jesus Christ's message and example. Too often we see churches get caught up in all the pomp and tradition and forget to teach (if they even know how themselves!) to live in community with God and each other. The message we hear is how we can "feel good" about ourselves, our lives, that we forget that God doesn't promise our lives will be happy, but abundant. He doesn't say our lives will be worry free, but he does say yoke up with Him and your burden will be light (more on that another time)... Bonhoeffer didn't believe in "cheap grace", or grace that people want to accept without selling out for God in return. I believe that we as Christians practice cheap grace as a matter of course. We have it so easy, not really ever experiencing any persecution for out faith, that we get lax in our faith. Sometimes, when we don't experience tough times we don't appreciate the good times... We are not called to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ only to continue to live as we see fit, we are called to sell out completely to Him if we want to be called a child of God... Food for thought...

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Finally, An Answer?

Several months ago I revisited my "Open Letter" blog written several years prior... It was a letter I wrote to "the one " I've been searching for. Now, after many, many months of being alone I have met someone who could potentially be the one to whom that letter was written... We've corresponded, been out several times now, and seem to share a lot in common... She's special.

I'd appreciate a prayer or two, if you who read are so disposed, that if this is the lady that God has for me, that our relationship grow, and be blessed.

Thank you.  ~Bud