To Thine Own Self Be True...

A very good friend passed away a few years ago, and before he passed he asked me to keep a helping eye on his wife after he was gone. This past week was the our most recent connection. I stopped by and we chatted for about an hour, just reminiscing and catching up on life. Then, as I prepared to go, as we stood by the door, she said to me, "Bud, I'm not ready to be with someone else." I knew then that this was the real reason for my visit...
When my friend was alive he often used to walk into my office and ask me "life questions", as I liked to think of them. Mostly they were "Why shouldn't I..." questions. And mostly, I'm sure I never told him anything he didn't already know. But my answers validated his beliefs, despite his feelings at the time. Feelings can be fickle, but our core beliefs, if built on a solid foundation, can sustain us through any of life's storms.
I got a similar feeling when she made her statement. Nothing I was going to say would be new to her, but it would validate her beliefs. And I told her, if she's not ready for someone new in her life, that's okay. It takes time to grieve, and each person is unique in their own way. But it is healthy to continue to move forward, to continue to live, rather than merely exist day to day in our grief... One day, if God has someone special for her, he will cross her path, and at that time she will realize it's okay to enter another relationship, to allow her emotions, her heart, to belong to another, even as she holds the heart of someone new. In the meantime, it's perfectly acceptable to remain alone, complete in oneself. There is nothing wrong with being alone, with being single. And society is beginning to accept that status too... Be true to yourself, your feelings...
Food for thought