A personal note...

A personal note in this Christmas season... Today is my daughter Ashley's 21st birthday... We lost Ashley at birth, and I never got to know this daughter I love so much. My thoughts are with you today Sweetheart... Daddy loves you and each day draws me closer to that day I will see you and know you...

As I reflect on this past year my heart is sad for another reason, for I lost another that I loved so deeply in my heart, though not lost through death, but in life, and living... I ended a long relationship early this year, because of the inability to control temper, and the ultimate unhealthiness that it created. I drew a line, and the line was firm, and it was breeched, and it was over. My closure has been difficult for there was much good in this relationship that was left behind, but in leaving there was grace also, for God, in his mercy, revealed so clearly that my love was sacrificial, it was good and pure, and it was one-sided. Love isn't rude, or angry, or selfish, or a keeper of a record of wrongs. All these things are the fruit of uncontrolled temper, not love. Can I believe that her love existed in good times? Just as certainly there was no love when her temper ruled her words and actions.
So this is my closure to you, though you will probably never know my words these many months later. My heart realizes the importance to move forward, to continue on with life. I love you, and will probably always love you for the good in you, and choose to forgive you, for not to forgive would ultimately hurt me the most. Yet I recognize that the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior, so I tell you good-bye, and pray you find that happiness that seems to elude you. As for me, I'll seek, and ultimately find, that precious lady who can and will appreciate the many facets of who I am, who is not afraid of a man of substance, of depth...

Limited Perspective...

What is really important? Daily we are faced with decisions, decisions that affect our very essence of who and what we are, and yet so often we allow things that are shallow and superficial to tie us up and stress us out instead of focusing on that which is really important. As we get caught up in the busy-ness of life our focus shifts, almost naturally from the eternal to the temporal... (Somone once said that if the Devil can't make us bad he'd make us busy; boy, is there truth in that!)

So how do we maintain our focus on those things that have relevence, importance, that impact our eternal? How do we keep our focus when we have to pick up the kids, go to the store, work late, mow the grass, cook dinner, clean the house, get gas in the car, walk the dog, juggle or maintain relationships, and not miss our favorite TV shows? And especially this time of year, when we add in the Holidays; family get-togethers, gift shopping for family and friends, decorating, cooking, baking... our plate fills to over-flowing... So what do we do?
Any attempt to keep our focus amid all the distractions of life has to begin with determination and desire. We must want to concentrate on things eternal, or we fail before we begin. Then we must determine to make the time and effort to achieve our desire. If we have the desire and determination we then must learn the art of solitude, for it is in solitude that we can reconnect with God, where we can learn to concentrate on those things of importance, to reflect with an eternal perspective. It's where we can study, and learn, and seek guidance on becoming more Christlike, it's where we can learn how to extend grace to others, to show love, and mercy, where we learn patience in trials, and peace in whatever our circumstance. It's where we learn to be silent and listen to God, for God speaks in a whisper, and we must want to hear, must make an effort to listen, if we expect to hear His voice. It is where our perspective returns from being temporal, and limited, to eternal.

We make time for those things that come to pass, that have no importance in the eternal scheme of things, like work, and TV, and shopping, and a myriad of other things- are we willing to make time for that which can change and enrich us for eternity? Food for thought...