I was grocery shopping last week when I bumped into a couple who attends my church. Now we go way back, some twenty years or more, when I used to pitch for a church softball team and he was my catcher. We chatted a few minutes, exchanging pleasantries and catching up on things, then I went on my way. A couple of days later I received a call.

It was from my old friend, who told me he had a friend in need and, after running into me at the store, thought he might put the two of us together... This new guy had no job, was looking for a place to live, and really had no where to turn. My friend knew that, in the past, I've given people help, jobs, and even allowed some to live in my home, so he called...

Now I must be honest- more often than not I've been severly disappointed when helping people. I've had my business robbed twice (by a "Christian" man I employed when he was down and out), my home has been robbed, personal items, money stolen- well, you get the picture. At first, I told my friend I'd give it some thought, but after a couple of days I called and passed on helping him. Smart, right?

I don't think so... I really could find any justification in the Scriptures to validate my decision. I did find time and again where we're supposed to help those in need, those less fortunate than ourselves. And I came to this realization- Helping others really doesn't have anything to do with the way I feel. If I wait until I "feel" good about doing something then I may never act. If I wait for that ideal time, or the perfect circumstance, then I may never help another again. Instead, I must sieze the moment, must act courageously, despite my feelings, or busyness, or fear of disappointment. god doesn't call me to act when it feels right to me, or when I have time, or because it makes me feel good to do so- no, God just calls me to act. Period.

To act regardless might be viewed as foolhardy by most people today. I believe to act shows courage, and boldness, to trust God for the eventual outcome... Henri Nouwen once prayed: "Let me have the courage to live fully even when it's risky, vibrantly even when it leads to pain, and spontaneously even when it leads to mistakes". Lord help me to act in Your time, and not when it's convenient for me... Food for thought...

Alone vs Lonely...

To be alone is not the same as to be lonely. I can't believe how long it's taken me to realize this simple truth, when in fact I've lived it's wisdom most of my life... I have always been a loner, even in the midst of people, guarding and insulating the "real me" behind a facade of humor and extroversion. To know the real me is a feat of gargantuan porportion, that so few have accomplished that I can number them on one hand, for in my innermost being I am a social recluse, while appearing to be socially extroverted. To penetrate that veneer takes time and trust, and all to few have had enough of the one to earn the other, and so I live alone in my mind, content in the knowledge that I am secure in my ability to fool others...

Yet am I not fooling myself, for if I claim to be one way yet live another, who am I really? What is truth and what is facade? Perhaps to live long enough contrary to the true me is, at some point, to begin to own the contridiction as truth...

Still, I've learned it is better to be alone than to be with another and feel lonely. To desire to share one's life, one's most personal inner self with another, one's hopes and dreams and deepest longings, and discover that depth is missing in the relationship leaves you lonely... and depressed... and desiring more. It is totally possible to be with others and be completely lonely. And it's just as possible to be completely alone and not be lonely at all...

I should add that while often in my later life I find myself "completely" alone I really am not alone at all. I am so grateful for my relationship with Jesus Christ, for God's grace to allow me to be in community with Him at any given moment, that loneliness is not an option. Sure, I occassionally allow my focus to be on myself and feel sorry for myself for past relational failings, but He is always there to remind me that no matter how bad I screw up He is waiting to love and forgive me... Perhaps someday He'll drop a mate into my life that has the same grace and forgiveness and I can taste a bit of Heaven here on earth before my days are done... And Hope lives on...

Stars...

My daughter is currently in the midst of a 5-week missions trip to Haiti. She called one night, a week into her trip, and excitedly told me all about her trip thus far. One thing she especially marveled at was the millions of stars she could see in the night sky. The thought came to me of how we gaze into the heavens, amazed at the millions of stars we see, but the reality is, because it takes hundreds of light years (and more) for the light from those stars to reach us, we really don't know if those stars are still live or if they've burned out... We might be staring into a cosmic graveyard without even realizing it. But one thing is true- as we stare into the night sky and admire the heavens we are actually staring into the past, into what those stars were hundreds of light years ago...

When we look to the stars we look to the past. When we look around us, at our lives, our kids, our jobs, our desires, this is our present, and we need to learn to live in the moment, to enjoy today, for there is only one today. If we are always living in our past then we miss today, until it becomes our yesterday, and then it's too late. If we always plan ahead, look to the future then our awareness of today is when it's still tomorrow- something to be anticipated, but no place to live. The ability to live in the moment, to appreciate today, is what gives our lives flavor, adds depth and meaning to our days... Learn to stop and smell the roses (literally and figuratively!)

Our faith is our tomorrow, and our hope is our future. Some lack faith, some feel hopeless, and their tomorrows are bleak to be sure. But, as a Christ-follower, my faith is in God, and my hope is in an eternity with Him. What better future could one aspire to? So I live in today, and I aspire for tomorrow, and am warmed by the memories of my yesterdays...

Food for thought...

Faster than the Speed of Light...

It's been a while, but good to be back...

I enjoy mowing the grass, for it is almost always a time of reflection, sometimes of abstract thinking... I had an epiphany the other day, while mowing.

We often think of the speed of light as that fastest speed possible, that 186,282 miles per second. Some speculate that to reach or exceed the speed of light could possible stop or reverse time itself. I don't know about that, but to realize, as I gaze into the heavens and realize that, despite light traveling at such a speed, it takes years upon years for the light of those stars to reach me. As I look at the stars it is entirely possible that many of those very stars have burned out and I'm really staring at a cosmic graveyard. I'm actually marveling at the past, for those stars in their present state are a mystery to us...

There is something that is faster than the speed of light however. It moves so fast that it is literally instantaneous- given and received simultaneously. What is so speedy? Love. As fast as I can show it to you you can feel it, can experience it if you're open to it's possiblity. Love was, love is, love will be. We don't fully understand it, but we desire it, we crave it, we seek it out. Love fulfills us, it warms us, it satisfies us. Love is all powerful, for it is the very essence of God. God is Love (I John 4:8). God, all-knowing, all-powerful, all-seeing, all-encompassing, is love. Love is what satisfied His perfect need for justice; love is the essence that redeemed mankind and reestablished community with God. It's no wonder we seek it with all our heart... Food for thought...