STUCK IN THE MIDDLE...

Middle children have issues all their own. They aren't oldest, who get to experience things first, who never really had to deal with hand-me-downs, and are often doted on as the responsible one. Nor are they the baby, who seems to get away with everything, and are coddled and not held responsible for anything. And the middle child is - there. I was number two out of five, but was the oldest boy so much of my experience reflected that of the oldest. But today's post is about a middle child- a very special, much loved middle child...
When I was young I had an uncle- Uncle Mac- who was the favorite of all us kids. He just resonated on our level, always knew what was fun for us, and sometimes engaged in activities with us that pushed the boundaries that our folks had established. But it was okay, because we were with Uncle Mac. Unfortunately, he died young, around fifty years old if I remember correctly, and there was a huge void in our extended family. As I grew older I heard different family members comment that I was like Mac, that I was filling that role for the next generation. However, I knew I fell far short of filling Uncle Mac's shoes, for he was effortless fun,,,
This week my kids all traveled to Florida's east coast for a cousin's wedding. They spent a couple days with me prior to going to the east coast, and will return for a couple more days. Three kids, two kids-in-law, and five grandkids all in my cozy home. So lets take all these divergent threads and pull them all together...

I relived my Uncle Mac this week, reincarnated in my middle child, my son Ryan. I have watched him parent his boys with great love and discipline, but watching him interact with all the kids was living Mac all over. Ryan so seamlessly, so effortlessly interacted with each, taking time to teach, to explain, to play with his nieces and nephew- Uncle RyeRye is definitely loved by all the kids. Now I love all my kids, and am proud of each, for who they are, for what they've accomplished, but this week I'm feeling especially proud of my middle child, for giving selflessly into the little lives around him, for going that extra mile to make my grandkids feel so important... Thank you Ryan. Keep up the good work. I love you, and am proud of you...

Food for thought...

Wiser Choices...

I believe in truth. However, I believe that there is more than one truth. There is absolute truth, truth that doesn't change irrespective of time or circumstance. God is absolute truth. Then there is is conditional truth, or truth that may or can change due to changes in our situation or circumstance. Often times conditional truths in our lives can change at the whim or directive of those who impact our lives. Conditional truths are often a matter of perspective and can be unreliable and damaging.
I began pondering this after reading an actual account of four people fishing out on the ocean in small boat. There were three men and one boy, the son of one of the men. Somehow the boat capsized and sunk, and the four began to swim for shore. However, there were fierce riptides, and the four struggled to make land. Finally two of the men made it ashore, but the father and son still struggled. The father was a strong swimmer- strong enough to make shore on his own- but he refused to let go of his son in order to save himself. The two were swept out to sea, and never found. The father loved his son enough to die for him. It made me think, to evaluate relationships in my life, and the question arose in my thoughts, "How many people in my life, people that I would be willing to die for, am I also willing to live for?" You see, if we are willing to die for someone then why do we all too often fail to live for them? Who do I live for today?
I came to the sad realization that I am in some relationships that I try to live for and would gladly die for, but if I were to die today I suspect that I would not even be mourned- or minimally at best. It may not have always been that way, but the relationship over time has evolved into an inequitable relationship, where my time and effort to nurture it are unrequited. I  recognize that these situations are conditional truths, for the very nature of these relationships could change at the whim or desire of  another, changing the dynamic and the truth as I experience it. Conditional truths change because we change, others change, because we are unstable in our abilities to control our feelings. Absolute truth never fails us though, for it doesn't rely on feelings or change. God is absolute truth. God is Love. God is just. God is merciful. These are and always have been God's attributes- attributes we can rely on.
So as I pondered those who may only be inconvenienced at my passing I was reminded of an absolute truth. God loves me, and He already proved that love by sacrificing His only son to pay the price for my sin, my shortcomings, and it that Jesus met God's justice through God's mercy- for me! I am a treasured child of the Most High God, secure in His love and grace. To those who fail to return my love, or friendship, to those who refuse to invest of themselves- I forgive you, and please forgive me if I change my choices and time investment to better enhance those relationships that are more equitable in my life. The dividends are far greater, and much more satisfying.
 Food for thought...