I've been without my computer for a week or so, after knocking it off the couch and shattering the screen. I was under a full warranty (or so I thought) until calling Dell to get it fixed and learning my "Complete Care Warranty" wasn't such complete care because my "base warranty" had expired a month earlier. What a con job by the Dell technician who sold me that warranty... So Dell refunded the cost of their bogus warranty and offered me a hundred dollar discount to fix my screen (they estimated a total cost of $300-400 depending on shipping). I found an aftermarket screen on line and fixed it myself for less than $100. Thanks Dell. I'm sure gonna be "recommending" you and your services!

Anyway, I realized once again how dependent we become on out "technology", whether it be computer, cell phone, i-pad, or whatever. I think we're losing something very important when we feel we have to be "plugged in" all the time. It is important to disconnect occasionally, to get back in touch with nature, to experience solitude. Saturday I took time to leave all cell phones, computers, kindles behind and just spend several hours out on the lake in my canoe, watching the new-born baby ducklings follow mama, seeing the fish jump, the hawks circle, the geese swim... We all need a reminder occasionally of the beauty of life happening all around us as we fly through our days... Life is what's happening today as we plan and work for tomorrow... Food for thought...

The Marvel of Awe...

I had the opportunity to watch my grandson today for several hours and I found myself marveling once again at the awe and wonder of new discovery... I watched as Jacobi explored, touched, and examined everything from sticks to bark, from seeds to bolts. Everything was exciting, because everything was new.

 

  We miss out on that excitment, that awe, as we grow up and establish our routine. We lose that sense of new, for nothing is, as we settle down... That's too bad too, for we all could use an occasional dose of new, of awe and wonder. I think God loves it when His children get excited at new discovery. I look forward to a renewal of that awe come Eternity...Food for thought...

An Interesting Episode...

We hear a lot lately about the dangers of texting while driving. I tend to agree that it is very dangerous, no matter how fast your fingers are. So here's the deal: I'm driving in to work one morning last week, on a one-way street that's three lanes wide. I'm in the center lane, it's right downtown, and morning rush hour. I stop for a red light at a major cross street and on my left pulls up a police cruiser. On my right a mini van pulls up and I notice  the lady immediately start texting. I wondered if the cop could see her and what his reaction would be so I turned to look, but I guess he couldn't see her. You see, he was too busy texting...

OCD and Other Labels...

I am a classic INFJ personality type and, by definition, I enjoy an orderly and systematic outer world. Yet also by definition I tend to have disorder in some part of my outer life, which is in direct contrast to other Judging types... The reason I share this is because I have been told by others on more than one occasion that I am OCD, because I like things a certain way. Perhaps it is sometimes said in jest, but other times I wonder if it really isn't believed by those who really don't understand what OCD is...

OCD, or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, is a psychiatric anxiety disorder, often disabling, that traps a person in a pattern of repetitive thought and behavior that are usually senseless and distressing. The obsessions are unwanted ideas or impulses that repeatedly attack the mind of the afflicted person. In response to their obsessions they resort to repetitive behavior patterns called compulsions. And that is the disease. So, is a person who lives neater than others or has developed a life system OCD? Of course not.

I use myself as an example because I fear too often we label people, and far more often than not incorrectly, and I certainly don't want to do so to another. It is common to find those afflicted with OCD to also fight depression, eating disorders, substance abuse, attention deficit disorder, or other disorders brought on by the affliction. I spoke with a counselor friend when deciding to blog this and asked him for his diagnosis of me as an OCD. He laughed and said I was "particular"- I liked things in their place, but was far from OCD. I am far from depressed, nor do I suffer from other anxiety disorders often accompanying OCD. So why am I labeled OCD?

What of the person labeled Bi-Polar, or the child labeled ADHD? Do we find it easier to slap a label on someone rather than try to understand them? Is a child ADHD, or has he just been allowed by his parent to appear so because of their lack of understanding of a child's basic psyche? Is it the child or the parent at fault if the child has little or no attention span? It is estimated that 8-10% of all children in the United States fit the criteria for ADHD. Children need fences. They need boundaries for their own personal security. This is a fact when we understand children. So what happens to a child who acts out, who pushes against his perceived boundary, and a parent fails to react appropriately? Their boundary shifts, and they lose some personal security. When it happens often enough a child learns acting out is accepted and episodes get worse. And we slap a label on him like ADHD and medicate him.

But what if, when a boundary is tested, a parent reacts appropriately and punishes the child for inappropriate behavior? The child learns a boundary, and stops the continual push against it once it is established. Further, he has security in the knowledge of what he can and cannot do. As a child establishes his boundaries he becomes more stable, self-assured, and functions at a much higher level in society.

When I speak of a parent punishing a child I am not necessarily advocating corporal punishment. I've raised three children and when  young a swat on the behind might have been appropriate, but I can't honestly remember spanking any of my children past the age of 3 or 4. Rewarding proper behavior was as effective as punishing bad behavior. When trying to obtain a specific behavior it was far more effective to offer the reward up front and allow the child to "earn" it or lose it on their own. An example: when my kids started getting older and wanted an allowance I set up a chart of "jobs" to do around the house. The more they did the more they could earn. My oldest son quickly learned the value of pitching in and helping and often earn five times and more than his siblings. My second son didn't think it was fair that his brother got so much more money, but in time learned that his effort was rewarded and lack of effort was not. One of my boys had a friend diagnosed as ADHD and once he became comfortable in my home never displayed signs of hyperactivity, impulsivity, or inattention that characterize the ADHD child, because he learned what was acceptable and what wasn't at our house. Boundaries. Children crave them. They may not like the results of violating them in the moment, but they love the long-term security they get knowing they're there. What is the most effective treatment for ADHD? Behavioral Therapy, or, in layman's terms, teaching boundaries...

I think we do a great disservice to many people by labeling them too quickly, or without all relevant information. I think sometimes we label others for our own comfort, to cover our own lack of understanding... Food for thought...