Sometimes a Beard is More than a Beard...

So, I'm growing a beard... I'm not particularly fond of beards, I find them to be somewhat itchy, and I don't think I look particularly appealing in one. So why grow one? Truth be told the lady I'm seeing likes them, and seems to like mine. So am I so insecure in our relationship that I have to grow a beard just to please her?

No, of course not. Anyone who knows me knows how secure I am in myself and in my relationships. But I do like her, and am willing to do things that please her. Our relationship is strong enough to handle me clean-shaven, and yet, small relational discomforts are common in the best of relationships. Why?

Doing things outside of our comfort zones, or even things we might not ordinarily do or like is nothing more, and nothing less, than putting the wants and desires of our partner first. It is the practice of selflessness, rather than selfishness, and is a cornerstone of any healthy and successful relationship. The satisfaction of bringing joy to our mate is far more rewarding than acts of self-gratification. It's too bad that society seems to preach a "me first" mentality for all too long. Wrong lesson. As one old-timer taught me: "Happy wife, happy life." Food for thought...

Epiphanies...

It's no secret that the economy has been in the dumpster for a long time now (since July of 2008 for my busimess), but somehow we're making ends meet and staying open. We,ve become lean and mean, and with the exception of not laying off our last two full-time employees my partner and I have cut just about everywhere possible. (We decided that it was better to keep on two guys with family obligations and take less pay ourselves than to lay them off and do it all ourselves again). Still, there are times when things get stretched pretty tight. This past week was just such a time...

We have monies in receivables that should be regularly coming in, but for some reason there were no checks in the mail all week- well, truth be told I did get one small check. I told my partner I need about $5000 by Friday to meet our obligations that week or my only option was to borrow against our line of credit. I prayed about it but still, all week, I had less than a thousand dollars come in. I was pretty stressed and decided that if nothing of substance came in Friday's mail (usually a light mail day) I would callt the bank and borrow money. Friday's mail was later than usual and my stress was climbing. But then it arrived, and there was just over $4000 in it. I ran the totals and had several hundred dollars more than I needed.

I also received a reminder of an automatic withdrawal of $134 coming out of my account and the overage in my account covered it... Now the painful confession: The first thing I did was say a prayer of thanks to my God, for supplying our needs. Then I said a prayer of grumbling, asking my Father why he had to wait to the very last second to meet my needs when trickling it in throughout the week would have allieviated my stress considerably...

I didn't give it a lot of thought after that, but this morning, as I was singing in the shower, a thought was strongly impressed upon me- an epiphany, if you will. And an epiphany I believe from God. Suddenly the thought was there that answered my grumbling prayer of why checks didn't trickle in throughout the week. If the checks would have trickled in then it wouldn't have been a "God thing". My stress was my failure to trust, to believe properly. My stress was my fault if I indeed believed and trusted God to meet my needs. Ideally I would have just trusted Him and not worried about it...

Then I started thinking about epiphanies. Personally, I believe they come from God. How else can we rationally explain suddenly knowing what was previously unknown? If not from God then from whence do they come? The case for God is strong: Who better to impart knowledge than the All-Knowing? who better to impart wisdom than He who is all-wise? Certainly the Uncreated can impart His wisdom in any way He desires, but what fun to implant an idea, so suddenly, that His created are amazed and excited by it? I imagine our Heavenly Father gets the same joy and satisfaction out of watching his children "discover" new truths as I did watching my children learn and discover "new" things as they grew up (until they were teenagers- then they knew everything, as the case often is with that age group!) Thanks to my Heavenly  Father, for His patience with me, for allowing me to continue to learn, even so far long in my life... Food for thought...

2012- A New Year... Resolutions?

The worst time of the year for me, it seems, is around the end of the year, especially from the middle of December forward. It seems like some of the really bad, or really painful memories in my life stemmed from past Decembers. I lost a child in December, the beginnig of the end of my marriage- December, and for the last twenty seven years I've had the busiest time of my business year the last week or two of the year. Stir in all the holiday hoopla from Thanksgiving through the New Year and it's a really hectic time of life for me. And one thing I've learned- the busier the times the less likely you'll find anyone who cares if you're hurting. Not that they're not caring, rather they're not as sensitive when busy. People tend to get wrapped up in their lives, their hassles, and seldom remember past hurts of others... Not a condemnation on people, but merely an observation. I probably am more guilty of this than any other...

I'm not big on resolutions, for seldom do they seem to stick, at least for me. But this year I think I will try to be more cognizant, more aware of a couple of thoughts. First, I want to try to avoid bringing up past mistakes in relationships, especially with those who are closest to me. Siblings, kids, parents, significant others, these all know us well, and we them, and I can't help but think it will be happier to forgive and move on, or it could negatively impact my present happiness. In other words, make peace with the past so it won't spoil the present.

Second, I want to remember that it is not my job that will take care of me when sick, or down, or lonely. It is not my job who will be there for me in my times of need- but family and friends can and will, so I resolve to try harder to stay in touch, to make myself more available to them, to try and be a helpmate in their times of need too. Life isn't a destination; life is all in the journey. I want to daily remember that, for to keep my eyes glued to the goal blinds me to life that's happening all around me.

I just want to be a better person- that's my resolution... Food for thought...