WINSTON...

Today is a most difficult day for me, for I bid farewell to my best friend...

WINSTON, 2005-2011

Winston was laid to rest Saturday, June 25th, 2011, after battling a long terminal illness. Although only given 2-10 months to live in early March, 2010, through his courageous heart and indomitable spirit, Winston battled his illness for over 15 months, finally succumbing to the deteriorating effects of that illness. Because his quality of life and ability to function had deteriorated so severely it was clear that it was his time.

Winston was much loved and touched hearts everywhere he went, and with everyone he met. He was intelligent and understanding far beyond the scope of normal dogs, and the size of his heart belied his stature. Winston will be long remembered and greatly missed. No matter how poor my mood, or what I’d say, Winston always loved with an unconditional love. I can only hope and dream of ever loving so completely as he did those in his life. You will be missed, my Friend. Thank you for being such a blessing... If there’s a dog Heaven you’re there with treasures.

Circles...

I've noticed that life, and often events in life, are really circular, or cyclical. In general, we're born, unable to get around on our own, grow into childhood, do fun/dumb things through our teens and early twenties, mature into responsible adults, retire and do fun/dumb things (i.e.- our bucket lists before it's "too late"), slip into our second childhood, and finally are too weak or able to walk...

Another thing I've found that's circular is our good judgement. Our good judgement is what keeps us from making bad decisions, or using poor judgement, and we gain that good judgement through experience. We usually gain experience through choices we've made in our past, usually out of our bad judgement...

My Dad's intelligence has lived a circular life also. When I was young my Dad knew eveything. There was nothing I couldn't get an answer to if I asked. Yet as I grew older my Dad knew less and less, until I realized he knew practically nothing as I reached my late teens and early twenties. I married at 21, and moved away to go to college, determined I would not let myself become dumb like my Dad did. Funny thing though, after moving back, I was 24 or 25 when I realized quite suddenly that my Dad did know things, that he was actually very smart and incredibly long on common sense. How he managed to learn so much in just 3 or 4 years is still a mystery to me..

So many things in life a cyclical, and often, when cycles are bad, we still find it tough to break the cycle. How many times have we heard someone comment, "We didn't learn from our mistakes", or, "History repeats itself"... It takes extrordinary action to break a cycle, and far too often we find it's easier to take the easy road. I guess, all things considered, we shouldn't be surprised when we find ourselves right back where we started... Food for thought...

How teachable are we?

Sometimes it feels like everyone's a critic, doesn't it? Ever have a day where nothing you do seems right, where everyone finds fault with what you say, when nothing just doesn't go right? Sometimes days like that happen, but for some it's almost a way of life. They just seem to live contrary to society. What makes them so? What causes us to have those occassional bouts of contridiction or criticism?
I believe the answer is as simple as "an unteachable spirit". Sometimes criticism isn't bad, or isn't meant to be harmful, but our spirit is unwilling to accept it, so we take offense, and the seed of a problem is planted. Now I'm not saying others can't be harmful in their criticism, or ornery in their social interactions, but those times when we take offense at someone who is offering up a suggestion or comment with a  genuine heart, it is those times that show an unteachable spirit.
We have to be willing to open ourselves up to others, to learn to listen for the intent of a comment, for sometimes people can be blundering in their communication attempts. Too often people are afraid of not being "politically correct", or afraid of having their words twisted or misconstrued that they are overly cautious in their presentation and fail to adequately or accurately communicate their point. Lost is the art of speaking one's heart, of genuine and open communication. In todays world if we want to communicate we must learn to do so in 160 characters or less of a text message! Lol, bff, ttyl, ftf, omg, brb, et al, is the new language, and I'm here to tell you that it isn't working. We cannot effectively communicate in texts, nor are e-mails much better. The tone, the inflection, the non-verbal body language cannot be communicated through a few short abreviated words, and communication is lost, as one puts their own spin or bent to the message...
How can we get back to talking, to listening and responding? To playing attention to those non-verbal signals that communicate so much? Pyschologists say that the words are less than 10% of effective communication; the rest is tone, inflection, body language. Why do we focus on the least effective area of comunication in our effeorts to communicate with each other? Perhaps it all starts with each one of us. The next time we are tempted to dash off a text why not just call? We  might rediscover a whole new world of communication! Food for thought...

A PS. to this note- my daughter was married this past Friday night, and I can say, totally unbiased, that there has never been a more beautiful bride! This is her and her new husband...

Life is in the moments...

It was so dark, the night sky occassionally ripped by flashes of lightning, the air sultry, electric with the approaching storm. I sat quietly, watching the sway of the trees, listening to the chatter of the leaves and branches. Enjoy, taste the moment. And then, softly, sporadically at first, drops began to pelt the roof of the gazebo that offered me scant protection from the onslaught that was eminent.

And then the rain... It came down in sheets, violating the sanctity of my sanctuary. Still I sat there, the

misty remnants of rain that managed to penetrate washing over me. Yet how could I leave such majesty, such raw fury? The storm was in full voice, the lightning almost continous, the patter of rain drowned in the rolling roar of thunder. The heat of the day, once so powerful and dominating, was swept away ahead of the storm, like a dried lef tumbling ahead of a fall breeze... And it was cool. And there is nothing that compares to the power and majesty of the storm.

How often do we stop and listen? How often do we take time to acknowledge, to appreciate our world around us? We need to slow down, appreciate the beauty around us. Life is that thing that is happening, right now, while we're making plans to do other things... Food for thought.

Tongue, firmly planted in cheek...

I read some comments from a lady who, if I am perceptive at all, didn't have a very high opinion of men. One thing she said was, "Men are like mascara- they run at the first sign of emotion". Now, on behalf of men everywhere I feel compelled to speak up. Two words: Waterproof mascara!. It doesn't run for anything. And for the record, some men are like that waterproof mascara- they'll stick through anything.
And while I'm de-bunking witty little relationship remarks how about the one that says women dress for their men. Women dress for themselves; if they dressed for men they would dress faster... And don't ask us if your clothes make you look fat- there's no correct answer for a guy. If you like the way you look you'd never ask the question; if you have it in your mind that the clothes aren't complimentary either we're a liar or a cad if we answer. It's a lose-lose propisition...

I'm not sure I fully understand the comment, "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband". I understand the advantage of the guy being deaf, but are women insinuating we men just let ourselves go? That's almost enough to get me off the couch and exercise just to prove them wrong. (Not to worry men- I said "almost". I'm not going anywhere).

Or how about, "The difference between a bachelor and a married man is one longs for the impossible and the other has married her". Now in defense of women everywhere let me say not all of you are impossible (a scary high percentage maybe, but not all!). Boy, I'll pay for that one...

Really though, in today's world a happy marriage would be one who's love flows as deeply as one's debt... And a man does need a wife, and a wife needs a husband. After all, we can't blame everything on the Government... Food for thought...

Guilt...

I indicated, a few days ago, that I would blog on guilt, for it is something we all experience to some degree, and all have to learn to deal with. Guilt is a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, be it real or imagined. We all have built into us a moral compass, called a conscience, which directs us and helps us navigate through social circumstances. We all have, at one time or another, chosen to ignore our compass, and the result is that feeling of remorse for violating that which we knew was right.
The problem comes in when we choose to ignore our compass on a consistent basis, for we become callous to the remorse, to the warnings of our conscience. The more calloused we become the harder to hear our conscience, and yet there remains in us that feeling of responsibilty that we continue to bury until we can't stuff it any more and we're forced to deal with it. We all deal with it differently. Some go to counseling, some confess in church, some break down, some blow up, angry at who or whatever gets in their way.
The Bible talks about this phenomena, particularly King David, who writes about it in the Psalms 32. Here's the scene:

David is out on the palace balcony and looks down to the roof below where he sees Bathsheeba taking a bath. Well, it isn't enough for ole Dave to just watch, he's consumed with lust so he sends for her and has sex with her. Now Bathsheeba is married, and this little tryst with the King results in her getting pregnant. She tells David and he recalls her husband from the wars, for he serves David in his army. Well, the husband, Uriah, comes home, meets with Dave, who sends him home to see his wife before heading back to battle, but Uriah chooses not to sleep with her (foiling David's plan) because his men were still on the battlefield and didn't share the opportunity for the same luxury. So David sends word to his General to send Uriah and his men into the thickest of the battle, then draw back and not support him. They follow orders and Uriah is killed in battle. David marries Bathsheeba and in time, is racked with guilt.

The interesting thing is not that David is plagued by his sin- lust, infidelity, murder-  but that it's the guilt of his sin that eats away at him. He writes,"When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me, my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord'- and you forgave the guilt of my sin." Note that it is the guilt of his sin, not the sin itself that ate David up. Why? Because he screwed up his moral compass, and needed to set it right. If we are children of God our sins are forgiven, for Jesus paid that price on the cross, but we still need to confess our sins, to God and to each other, to reset our moral compass, to ease our conscience... Satan knows your sins are forgiven, so he can only convict you through the guilt of your sin. That's why confession is so important- it offsets the dibilitating effects of guilt. So whether it's to a counselor, at church, or in the confidences of a friend, conferss that which troubles you. And be set free from the guilt of your sin... Food for thought...