I have a wedding in August that I am attending, and my thoughts turned to this young couple, just starting out together... I thought, if I had to propose a toast to two people just beginnig life together, what it would be... I think I would propose a toast to true love, and to the two most important components of true love: forgiveness and grace. I think that couples who "make it", who have that kind of relationship that seems to transcend time and troubles, those are the ones who have mastered the art of forgiveness and grace...We often hear "forgive and forget" but the reality is we really don't forget, and that's not necessarily bad. It is bad when we dredge up past mistakes that are supposed to be forgiven and buried. To forgive means to leave it in the past- forever. It is not fodder for future fights, it is not to be hauled out to guilt our mate. It is like a corpse- dead and buried, but not forgotten, nor dug up. The memory might be there but the rest is gone- untouchable.
Grace is often more difficult. It is the art of extending undeserved forgiveness or mercy for the sake of our relationship. The key is "undeserved" for we tend to want to keep score. Grace doesn't keep score. Love keeps no record of wrongs (I Cor. 13)... A relationship is not a score card, it is two people trying each day to give their mate 100%, for there will be days when we all fall short, and if each strives to give their all there will be plenty to cover our shortfalls. (A 50-50 relationship doesn't have such a saftey net when we fall short, and problems most certainly ensue).
So to this young couple I raise my glass and say, "May your days together be filled with true love, grace, and forgivness, that your relationship may transcend times and troubles. God Bless."
