Truth vs Unbelief...

I love mowing the grass because it gives me time to think, to ponder, to process. This morning as I mowed a neat realization came to me. Please, indulge me...

I have a friend who, based on personal experience and circumstances, tends to dismiss things I say as not believable, and for some time I let that bother me, yet after some attention and processing I realize that it isn't my issue to be bothered by. This morning I had a bit of an epiphany; Just because someone doesn't believe, or even chooses not to believe, doesn't make the fact or statement any less true. If I know the statement is absolutely true then the problem lies with the receiver, for experience or circumstance has skewed their ability to receive truth through their personal filter. Truth is truth. And absolute truth is constant, (although I acknowledge the existence of conditional truth that is not what we're discussing here). So when I make a statement that I know to be true, despite another's willingness to accept it, the statement is true. Period.
The sad thing is that too often we all can tend to grow calloused to the truth, especially as we grow older and experience more and more lies and deceit from our fellow man. We tend to become skeptics instead of being vulnerable, open, and receptive. We veiw things through a filter of negativity, even when appearing positive, for that is what we've "learned" from each other. Unbelief is a relational killer, the prime component in the breakdown of trust
Yet all is not lost, for if we cultivate a relationally safe environment for trust to grow and be nourished then truth will ultimately win out. For where trust grows vulnerability deepens, and our eyes are ultimately opened to truth and we will ultimately receive. One day, (perhaps in the not to distannt future), I anticipate confirmation that my words are believed, that my friend trusts me enough to believe my words as true...

Guest Column!

Tonight we have a rare treat- a guest columnist. My daughter wrote this last night, and shared it with me tonight. It's lengthy, but I thought well worth the reading, especially when I consider that these pearls flowed from my innocent 20 year old baby...

A Love after His own heart
I believe love is the author of both heartbreak and joy.
For it is by love that we give our whole hearts at either the risk of loving forever or losing significant portions of it all at once.
By love we taste memories that will never leave us—for better, for worse. When we truly love, we are holding nothing back at the risk of losing everything.
By love we can either see the world as it is—broken and beautifully glued back together—or for what we always hoped it would never become—lonely, sad, and shattered.
By love we learn to embrace one another and travel realms of unthinkable measures while putting our loved ones’ well-being undoubtedly before our own.
By love we accept those unexpected circumstances when it is painfully one-sided.
Anybody is entitled to fall in love; age is not a barrier,
The color of skin is merely God’s beautiful creativity revealing to us the beauty of loving someone different, but not unlike us—for we are all exposed to unconditional love every single day.
We are created in the likeness of our God, whom, he Himself is called Love.
In being a direct masterpiece of love, we are products of this contradictory choice that makes perfect sense.
“…For God so Loved the world, that He gave his one and only son…”
In the same stroke of a pen, our creator both felt an unconditional love for his children that brought complete joy and undeniable grief.
For by saving us, through love, he experienced the despair of losing his son—the heartbreak of watching the betrayal of his child and the suffering he encountered.
Our father made the choice to love us and to save us.
After witnessing this love, we cannot deny that love brings about joy that is so often desired and sought after but the agony of a lost love is so often unbearable that many do not risk the chance of “head-over-heels, butterflies-in-the-stomach, cheeks-turning-red, must-impress-the-parents, hope-for-a-good-night-kiss-before-my knees-turn-completely-weak love” due to fear of rejection, infidelity, and loss of emotional independence and stability.
Is it true that we get out of life what we put into it?
That we ought to “seize the day,” right?
Well, in any case, I believe we should love without limits, for that is what Jesus would do.
We ought to love whole-heartedly, not holding back—for that is what God has done.
We should tell those people in our life that really matter to us that we choose to love them—that we choose to risk everything in order to lose control of ourselves and feel something we’ve never felt before—experience something we’ve never experienced.
This is a choice that no one can force upon us and no one can take away from us.
Yes, love is so powerful that we shouldn’t take it lightly.
We should guard our hearts, for this “determines the course of your life” but when your heart decides to love someone, do yourself a favor; don’t try to convince your mind otherwise.
Risk it all, for then you will experience life at its fullest, you will have no regrets about love remaining in the shadows and you will taste just a glimpse of how much your creator loves you.
If you love someone, you should tell them, because at the risk of an unreturned love, it is far less regrettable than the agony of never knowing—or even worse…the revelation of a returned love that was never spoken for.
As a quotable movie once said, “When you find out who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
I believe that God wants us to experience love that is beyond our wildest dreams, hopes, and expectations.
I believe that God does not set limits on love—that his choice to save us was not for one but for all.
I believe that we as humans, broken and in desperate need for direction, set limitations on who we allow ourselves to unconditionally love—when in reality, I believe this is not God’s intent for us at all.
You are never too young to love; as a child we were loved before we were even born and an innate desire in us taught us to love even at birth.
You are never too old to love.
There is no age restriction on this choice because age is really but a number—love comes from the overflow of the heart, soul, mind and mind.
It is within these that we need to diminish limits on who deserves to live life the way God intended.
I believe God uses our unique gifts and differences, that every single one of us has, to speak to the soul of one another—to deeply teach each others’ hearts and offer a joy that is evident in humility and servant hood.
I believe Jesus would say to every single ounce of creation, “I have chosen to love you.
I have chosen the pain, suffering, betrayal, and risk of an unreturned love so that you would know you are genuinely and unconditionally loved.
You were bought at a price because I decided you are worth it.”
What would it feel like if Jesus came to some and said,
“I love you. I paid the price for you.”
But then there were a selection of us that he said,
“I’m sorry. You’re just not old enough or You’re too old.
I’m sorry your skin is white, or your skin is brown—that just doesn’t work for me.
I’m sorry you aren’t pretty enough or
You really aren’t good at pottery.
You just don’t make the cut.
You have other gifts—you seem like a great person;
But I just don’t think I can love you.”
What if Jesus said that to us?
It is devastating to think about—but even more-so to think that our world is filled with this very attitude.
The possibility of love is limited to few prospects—
Age restrictions are held accountable.
Interracial relationships are frowned upon by some.
“Why can’t they love someone their own color?”
Truly these limitations are surface-oriented and selfish.
Love is not self-centered.
Love believes that all people were bought at a price and that all people deserve to live life at its fullest.
So who are we to set boundaries and tell God he has to abide by them?
Who are we to judge our neighbor—to say that we are better off loving someone our own age rather than someone older or younger?
Because textbooks say this? When it comes to love, I look to the author Himself, and the textbook He has written that documents such a subject.
For God loves all. God knows better, because He is the creator of all.
Today, I will pray that Jesus becomes the icon of love.
That Jesus is the one the world will remember as the lover of all creation.I hope that love isn’t thought of as a feeling or emotion—but as a choice—
A choice to come to earth for those what didn’t know what love was;
For those that still sometimes deny it and cause an undeniable heartbreak;
A choice to show the world a model of how to really live;
To give God all the glory.
To love in times of happiness or grief—for better or for worse.
And to love others without limitations:
To choose character over comfort,
Authenticity over color,
Acceptance over rejection;
Jesus chose to love without bounds, barriers, ropes, walls, limits, restrictions, regulations, prejudice, class, and separations.
If He didn’t do this, then we wouldn’t know what love is—
We wouldn’t experience life at its fullest.
We wouldn’t have those cherished moments of true love that are born from and envisioned from the seemingly hopeless and despaired.
Without love we wouldn’t feel valued or cherished.
We wouldn’t know the weight of a hug, the giddiness of a first kiss, and the pang of your heart after holding a baby.
We wouldn’t feel the twinge and depression of funerals, breakups, and fatal illness.
We wouldn’t need to impress people with our trivial charms and hide our most frivolous flaws on first dates.
If love were not the way it is, we would be living aimless lives of sexual impurity and promiscuity, loss of commitment and community, and the purpose of our existence would amount to that of life without a God who would do anything for us—
Even send a huge piece of him to die for us, experiencing the deepest loss ever to be felt, while at the same time,
Saving us and experiencing a whole new love.
The next time you think somebody is not worth your time,
Or you think that somebody falls short of your love and acceptance,
Think to yourself:
“How would I feel if Jesus told me,
‘you don’t cut it.
You’re too old or too skinny.
Your skin is the wrong color,
you don’t look like a model.
You don’t run like an athlete,
You don’t write like a romantic,
You don’t sing like an angel.
I’m sorry.
On our surveys, you just don’t meet the requirements for me to love you.’”
Then surely you will realize that this isn’t love at all—but merely personal preference
And opinionated prejudice on a platter.
Then ask yourself,
“What if Jesus asks me, ‘Did you love others as you love yourself?’”
What is the right answer?
Because we don’t get a second chance at this.
We don’t get another opportunity to wipe the slate clean, start over,
And love without limitations once we are facing the consequences of our actions on Judgment Day.
That will be it.
So now I conclude with this, once again:
“Seize the day. Love others.
Don’t forget to ask Jesus to fill you with a love for others that he has for you.
Then, surely, you will start to love without limitations,
You will embrace your neighbor with genuine risk of everything,
That you may be living as Jesus intended—
May you live the rest of your life at the fullest, and may the rest of your life start as soon as possible; only then will you share a love after His own heart.

Never too old for Firsts...

Well, vacation is over, and it was a wonderfully relaxing time, right up until we were rear-ended on the expressway, during rush hour traffic, in a construction zone, on the south side of Chicago on the drive home. Welcome back to the real world, Bud!

But now that we're home life continues on, and life's experiences continue... Last night I was visiting my new friend and something happened that had not happened to me in the context of a relationship that I could ever once recall- a relational first!- she asked me quite simply what my preferences were. In my younger days, before marriage, I dated alot, but since 1979 there's only been three significant relationships in my life, and I can't ever remember being asked what I like. The focus always seemed to be on how I could please my partner, on how to meet her needs, or wants, or desires. Never has somone asked me what I liked. Well, I thought, and thought, and didn't have an answer. And the enormity of the thought that I really didn't know what I wanted, or what I liked overwhelmed me. It was pretty depressing. And here's this beautiful angel wanting to know, actually caring about my desires, and I couldn't answer. So now I have to process, to figure out what I want, what I need, for her advice to me was, "It's okay not to give all the time." It is a very foreign feeling to have someone wanting to give to me without expectation of getting first, or in return. I pray that I never get too old to learn; I never expected that those things I'd have to learn would be so personal...

Vacation Time...

It is time, my friends, to take a break. Yes, it's my annual pilgrimage to the sand dunes at Silver Lake, Michigan, with my daughter and a friend of hers... I look forward to the rest, to catch up on some reading, and perhaps do a bit of personal writing as well... I have a friend who kids me (I hope!) and says I missed my calling- I should write romance novels... I have this mental image of me becoming that guy that Jack Nicholson portrayed so well in "As Good As It Gets". That's scary on so many levels! But I am considering doing a bit of writing just for the experience... I also would like to explore glass-blowing, for I think that is a really cool art. I just wonder if I have the time and patience to learn and practice... But I ramble here, so my apologies, and perhaps we'll touch base in a week or ten days! Enjoy the day, for it is your gift from the Father- yesterday is gone and tomorrow is yet to come but today is your present, from Him .

An open letter II...

Some three months ago now I posted an open letter to that elusive woman I desired to find for companionship, to share in my life and I in hers. Now it seems appropriate to post an addendum to that letter, for there now seems to be a face, and a laugh, and an identity to that elusive woman. So to her I write today, but here, in my forum, where I first wrote.

Sweetheart,

How do I begin to write my heart? How do I begin to try to express how incredibly blessed I feel in our relationship? Words seem to escape me...

I know you have a hard time believing me sometimes, when I tell you how beautiful I find you, yet if somehow you could see yourself from my perspective my words would make perfect sense, and the truth of my words would be all too evident to you. You sometimes compare yourself to others, in light of my words, and find fault in the believability of my ardor toward you. I recognize that there will always be someone younger, or prettier, or more handsome, or funnier, or smarter, more sophisticated, or richer, or smoother than we might be, and such comparisons will always find us wanting. So I compare you only to the desire of my heart, and to my heart there is no one that matches that desire as perfectly as you. To my heart, you are the most beautiful, the most desirous of women, exactly as you are. Any imperfections that you might see in yourself are only those things that make you so uniquely you...

I love doing life with you, doing those things we do together, the sharing of the mundane, of the everyday things we all must do which alone can be tedious or boring, but with you they are enjoyable, for we work together. I love the twinkle in your eyes, the smile that is always playing around your lips. I love your questions, and your willingness to share, to get to know each other's likes and dislikes, turn-offs and preferences. I love that surprise when I'm able to expose another facet of myself, when I reveal a strength that you can appreciate. And especially, I love your appreciation that you so openly express to me- appreciation for me, and for those things you allow me to do for you. I love our friendship, and the closeness I feel to you.

If you could somehow understand my heart and you could appreciate how fully you fill it, your consternation over my truths would quickly pass. Your kisses, your caress, your smile, the music of your laughter, fills me up. I find my life happier now than before you, I am content to share that which was once so personal and private with you, and it is clearly evident that I meet needs and desires in you. So thank-you for your friendship, for your openness, for your willingness to extend grace when I am not all I should be. Thank-you for being so uniquely you, and so so perfectly beautiful to me, just as you are.

If, through some unforseen cruelty of life, we were forced apart, if I was unable to be with you again, though my heart would be broken, it would still revel in the memories of you and our times together. You have made my life better, just by being in it and for that I am deeply grateful. I pray we have many more months and years together, to learn of each other, to do life, together.

I am, and will remain, your humble admirer.

Dale "Bud" Brauer