Are we a hostage?

It had been quite a while since I last blogged, that is before yesterday, and I was pleasantly surprised to hear from several "old friends" or past readers / penpals. Thanks for keeping an eye on me and dropping me the e-mails- it was really heartwarming to hear from you. Thank-you sincerely.

As I continued to ponder my train of thoughts from yesterday's blogging my thoughts turned to our propensity to hide behind walls- emotional barriers we erect to protect our hearts from the possibility of future hurt based on our past experiences... We think we are protecting ourselves when the reality we either fail to see or steadfastly deny is that by walling ourselves off emotionally we aren't just keeping others at bay, we are also restricting our own ability to experience love, and affection, and ultimately the true happiness that comes from unfettered community with others, the very thing we were created for.

It doesn't occur to us that as long as we restrict our vulnerability, as long as we stay behind those barriers, we are hostages to our past and can never fully experience the full joy of our present or the full potential of our future. To bottom line it, we learn from past hurts to distrust. Distrust, the opposite of trust, which the most critical element in experiencing true love. In essence, by remaining hostage to our past, by refusing the choice of being vulnerable we choose by default to deny ourselves the possibility of true love, true friendship, andultimately deny ourselves happiness and gratification.

It is this phenomena, this misconceived desire to protect our heart, that leads us to seek gratification through "things" rather than relationships. We seek to fill that void, that longing, the unhappiness we feel from a lack of community, or fellowship or friendship with others with the trappings of our world, trying to accumulate more, or nicer, toys to make us "happy", yet that gratification is so fleeting, so temporary. We end up alone, sitting in a houseful of gadgets, wishing for something, someone to fill that void, without a clue on how to find relief. We just refuse to believe that it is as easy as stepping out and taking a chance on a fellow human being. Being vulnerable is the key that releases the shackles of our past... But I ramble long enough...