Father's Day... Memories...

This past Sunday was Father's Day, and as I took the opportunity Monday to mow the grass I reflected on it, and on some past Father's Day memories...

I have three children, all grown, married, and on their own. I'm a grandfather twice over now. I love my children and love nothing more than seeing them, or hearing from them. But I also recognize that they are busy living lives, raising families of their own, going through all those struggles life puts in our way. So I try to be patient, and tolerant, and accept the time that they are able to share with me. I will occasionally call, or text, to remind them I love them and miss them, but I really try not to impose on them or guilt them into visiting.
I was divorced in the early 1990's, when a father's rights were not recognized like they are today. Despite being told I had literally no chance to get custody of my kids without dragging my ex through the mud, I chose to take the high road and fight for joint legal and physical custody based on the fact that I was a good dad and deserved my kids. I was lied about, smeared, and constantly attacked in court, and after many, many months (several years) I was granted my request... God honors the high road... Still, there were many times I thought how much easier it would have been on me to just pay the money and move on, like my ex was fighting for... Yet in the end it was my love for my kids, and my desire to want to instill in them those things I felt important to achieve success in life that kept me fighting.
I was an authoritative father, (not an authoritarian, for there's a huge difference between the two). There were times I could have done a much better job in my fathering, but being stubborn and hard-headed at times, sometimes too sure of my rightness, in retrospect I could have done better in some of my decisions... Still, I can honestly say that those decisions I did make were grounded in the fact that I loved my children and wanted the best for and from them. Hindsight is always 20-20, and age tends to mellow, still I tend to be one of my harshest critics, so I recognize areas I could have done better... I'm sure I caused resentment in my kids, in differing degrees, but especially in my boys...
I remember Father's Days past when I didn't get even a call or text wishing me a happy day from one or more of my kids. I remember, during times of conflict, wondering if it was all worth it, if my kids would ever appreciate the sacrifices I went through for them, for what I thought was in their best interest... I said earlier that God honors the high road, and sometimes it just takes patience- as both my boys became fathers both have shared at one time or another about the difficulty of fatherhood, and an appreciation for me despite our differences... This year was special. My younger son dropped in on Saturday with his family to wish me a Happy Father's Day. On Sunday I was grilling out for my Dad and Mom and my daughter came over and ate with us and hung for a while. My oldest son is in Lincoln, Ne and I didn't expect to see him, but he did call and we had a nice conversation and visit. (I do miss him)... But, all in all, a delightfully fulfilling Father's Day, for my children all remembered me. Thank you Father, for family. It is all worth the struggle...
Food for thought...