Friday, December 12, 2014

the Lost Art of Listening...

Most people think they listen; some even think they're good listener. But truth be told, listening is a lost art. Very few people really listen to a person, for listening is far more encompassing than just hearing the words...
The words we speak are actually about 10% of our actual communication. The other 90% is our tone and body language. But beyond that, a good listener is also sensitive to to what the speaker isn't saying, or to what the speaker is trying to say but don't quite know how to say it. A good listener first listens without premature judgments. They quiet their body language; they still any fidgeting and pay attention. This shows genuine interest in what the speaker is saying, and portrays that they, and what they say, are important to you.
Beyond that a good listener learns to wait to respond, to not form comments or objections internally to one point while the speaker is expressing further points. By internally forming responses one loses much of the flow of what follows that which piqued their attentions. Further, when responses are formed the natural bent is to want to express them, and the listener is done listening until he/she can respond or rebut. The good listener learns patience, and remains attentive to the speaker until they're done, then they formulate and share their responses.
Listening is really all about respect. Do you respect the speaker enough to give them their time to express their heart, their agenda? All too often what we want is more important to us than the needs or desires of the speaker... It is truly a lost art, practiced by too few today...
Food for thought...

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