Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Love is sloppy...

Love is sloppy. True love is a mess. If you're looking for that nice, neat relationship then don't expect much depth, much substance, because you can't have substance without the mess. Why? Because love demands vulnerability, and vulnerability means allowing someone else to see the sloppy side of ourselves. When we open up, when we let someone in behind our defenses, we commit ourselves to letting someone see what a mess we really are. We trust that love will allow acceptance, and acceptance will allow love to grow deeper. We want someone who knows the worst side of us, and loves us anyway...

Do you ever wonder why we often tend to treat strangers nicer than those we love? It's easy to do little acts of kindness for a stranger, for we have little or nothing  invested emotionally. But when we invest emotionally in a relationship, when we let another see us at our best and worst, we lose that desire, that need to impress that was present at the conception of the relationship. In love we are free to be ourselves, warts and all. And sometimes that's not a very nice person- the one very we hide behind our walls and don't show the world. So our "nice" person does nice things, usually to strangers who don't know us, the real us, and we feel good about ourselves. Our real self feels comfortable with those who love us so it's easier to lash out, to let our bad side show...

While it's a wonderful thing to be comfortable in our relationships, it's even more important to remember hoe important the one who chooses to love us is. Be grateful that you're accepted and loved, and make the effort to show it. Treat the one(s) you love to little acts of kindness, on a regular basis, and you will be amazed at the returns... Food for thought...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are the master of aphorisms. I really could read forever...or listen. There are moonbeams coming from your fingertips. LH

Bud said...

Dear LH,

You are too kind. I'm pleased you find pleasure in my writing. Your appreciation, in turn, gives me inspiration.